Welcome to Vol. 11, No. 2 April/May 2010 edition of the reFOCUS Forum: An Internet Newsletter for Recovery
reFOCUS is a network of referral and support for former members of closed, high demand groups, relationships or cults.
reFOCUS is dedicated to the recovery of former members…please visit our web site at http://www.refocus.org We are a tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation - all contributions to reFOCUS are 100% tax deductible. Because reFOCUS is dedicated to recovery, we are looking for suggestions and input from you: are there articles or topics you want to see covered? Are there questions you need answered? Email us at [email protected]
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Upcoming Conferences and Workshops
ICSA Workshops
Workshop 2010 Colorado: Ex-Member (July 30 - Aug. 1) – this workshop has two tracks: one for those born/raised in cultic groups and the other is the regular recovery workshop.
ICSA Conference
Conference 2010: New York City (Fort Lee, NJ) (July 1-3, 2010) – ICSA Annual International Conference – there will be a pre-conference workshop for former members on Thursday, July 1. This is not the same as a recovery workshop, which is 2-1/2 days. If you are attending the conference, the workshop has no additional registration fee.
Upcoming publication
The new ICSA publication, ICSA Today magazine, will contain an article explaining the Colorado Workshop model as well as a personal account of a former member. ICSA Today is published three times a year. Regular ICSA members receive the print edition of ICSA Today and have access to its Web edition. Student and other special members gain access to the online edition only. Nonmember print subscriptions are available. Submissions to the magazine should be sent to the Editor-in-Chief, Michael Langone, Ph.D.: [email protected]. We prefer Microsoft Word or a program compatible with Word. Articles should be no more than 2,500 words. Please include a jpeg photo (less than 150 KB, please) and biographical sketch (less than 150 words) with your submission. Appropriate submissions are reviewed by the relevant section editor (see inside back cover) and, when appropriate, editorial review advisors.
This is a perfect way to share your personal account and have it published. Please consider, however, using a pseudonym – we have had requests from former members who have published their accounts and whose name appears on the web site to remove both from the site because future employers have googled their names and found that they are a former cult member.
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Featured Article
Overview: Former Group Members
Former group members usually seek information from us because they are trying to understand their group experience and/or deal with post-group problems. Although getting information on the group in question has utility, it is usually at least as important to understand the processes that underlie group involvements. This and other study guides and topic collections are designed to help you understand these processes and provide you with background information.
In this overview we want to call your attention to a number of points that we believe former group members should keep in mind. We recommend that you read this overview first. Specific articles and other resources are listed at the end of the overview, including important definitional essays. Since surveys indicate that over 90% of ex-members have found reading materials and talking to other ex-members to be helpful, we believe that you will find the resources listed below to be useful.
The most important principle to keep in mind when trying to evaluate helping resources is this: different people will respond differently to similar environments. Environments and individuals are complex and interact in complex ways.
This seems like common sense, but it is easy for people to ignore individual differences and overgeneralize: "If Joe and Mary had bad experiences in the Holy Enlightenment Crusade for Oneness, then Harry too must have had the same kind of experiences." The notion of individual differences implies that, although Harry may very well also have been harmed, he may not have been, or may have been harmed in a different way. Thus, if you are Harry, you don't want your experiences defined by Joe and Mary. Nevertheless, you may learn something useful by finding out about Joe and Mary.
This is part of ICSA's role: helping you to learn about the experiences and views of other people, while at the same time encouraging you to think carefully about the degree to which this information may or may not be relevant to your unique situation.
In other words, pay respectful attention to the resources on our site, but don't do what you might have been encouraged to do in your group, that is, treat this information as holy writ that cannot be questioned.
Question! Question! Question!
If you were really in a destructive group, your capacity for independent critical thinking may have been assaulted and diminished. We cannot help you regain that capacity if we don't encourage you to critically examine what we say, as well as what others say. See the resources on our critical thinking topic page.
An excellent way to enhance your capacity for critical thinking is to talk to former members from diverse groups, such as in one of ICSA's "After the Cult" workshops or conferences. The diversity of participants' backgrounds is one of the factors that make these workshops so effective. Participants begin to see the psychologically manipulative dynamics of groups in bold relief when they hear the accounts of people from groups that on the surface are completely different from their own.
Clinical and research evidence suggests that many former members of abusive groups tend to blame themselves inappropriately for their problems, much as the group may have blamed them. Former members also tend to be depressed and anxious, and often experience what has been called "floating" (i.e., a sense of slipping from normal to group states of consciousness). Some also feel overt or suppressed anger toward the group's leader(s).
An ICSA survey found that ex-members related to the terms "psychological abuse" and "spiritual trauma" as descriptors of their experience. A large percentage, possibly a majority, appears to need counseling when they leave their groups. Nevertheless, many psychologically needy individuals do not seek counseling, or receive counseling that isn't as effective as it could be because cult-related issues are not addressed.
Sometimes former group members need help regarding custody disputes or child abuse issues. We have special collections on custody/forensic issues and on children.
If you are experiencing psychological distress, it might be advisable to seek professional help, if you have not already done so. If you do, don't be intimidated by credentials. And don't be afraid to "shop around" for a therapist with whom you feel comfortable. Psychotherapeutic effectiveness depends upon many interacting variables, and a sense of rapport between therapist and client is certainly very desirable. See Singer's and Lalich's suggestions on choosing a therapist.
Our profiles of people who have spoken at our conferences or published in our periodicals include a number of helping professionals. We advise people seeking professional consultation to investigate options to make sure that they feel comfortable with a particular person. Sometimes state psychological, medical, or professional associations maintain referral services for the public. Even though few professionals have much expertise with cultic groups, many can be helpful, particularly if they have worked with family systems or abused populations and if they are willing to learn about cult-related issues. Our collection for Mental Health Professionals may interest such therapists.
http://www.icsahome.com/infoserv_topic_collections/tpcol_exmember.htm
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Comments, questions, and suggestions: email us at [email protected]
reFOCUS, P.O. Box 2180, Flagler Beach, FL 32136
386-439-7541
Web site: http://www.refocus.org
The reFOCUS Board of Directors consists of:
Carol Giambalvo, President/Secretary
Rick Seelhoff, Vice President
Mary Taylor, Treasurer
David Clark
Maureen Griffo
Nancy Miquelon
Vanessa Weber
Advisor: Madeleine Tobias