I was wondering how people express their new freedom and how they create new boundaries. What I mean, is when I left the Witnesses and became someone without their rules, I did not go out and do all the things I was forbidden to do before. I did not take up drugs, sleep around, etc. I still see those things as an unhealthy mentally and physically. I did, however, express my freedom in other ways and some were as small as buying Christmas decor in my first year away. To others as major as hanging items in my home that reflect my pagan beliefs, and even wearing items that show this. I still have boundaries though, and I am sure others do too. I just wonder, how you express yours and what new boundaries have you recreated or created all together? I say recreated, as some have remained but evolved into a more common sense and less strict form.
How do you express your new freedom?
by free2beme 8 Replies latest jw friends
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caligirl
I think finding your own way takes time. When someone else has always made your decisions for you, it takes some time to figure out what you think and what you feel is right for yourself... trial and error.... kind of like stumbling around in the dark looking for the lightswitch when you are in unfamiliar surroundings. You will find it, but you'll probably trip on something or stub your toe a few times along the way.
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Lilycurly
As I also have pagan beleives, I try to incorporate them in my everyday life instead of hidding them. I enjoy wearing jewellery that have meaning to me, even if people around might not know what the signification is...just to be free to wear them is liberating. Not to be ashamed to put a Bastet statue or runes around the house, to buy holiday decorations, to read or watch anything and everything I wish without checking with others first...or feeling guilty. How awesome!
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dedpoet
I guess I haven't changed much since I left, I just celebrate Christmas and birthdays now, and socialise with my pre - jw friends again, listen to music and watch tv that would have been disapproved of when I was a dub. Most jws ignore me now anyway, but I try to show the odd few that do still speak that I am happier now that I am free of the borg than I ever really was while I was in.
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Jordan
I started by just generally playing the music I wanted to listen to, and then hanging out with my non-jw friends at the pub. But I will admit I have succumbed to both the occassional use of weed, and the odd one night stand, even though, I personally prefer relationships. I think as I get older, maybe I'll calm down, become a little bit more respectable. Maybe.
Oh, and I've got me some pretty decent side burns going on at the moment, I'd have been looked down upon, if I'd dared grow them like this back in the bOrg. I'm tempted on getting some form of piercing aswell, but I want something that a) won't affect my ability to eat and b) won't make me look like a pratt...
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tetrapod.sapien
i had to recreate all of my morals.if there is no god, and trancendental morals do not exist, then it was up to me to come up with new ones.
many of my new ones fell into line with my old ones due to society and what is acceptable to humans in general. for example i don't speed, but then again i actually speed less often now that i have no hope of heaven or hell or nirvana or paradise after death. actually, i am all about walking and bicycles now.
other more personal ones, like faithfulness to my spouse became the same because i can see that it is hurtful to another human to be otherwise.
the point is that i found these new morals inside myself. they may be the same, but it's because they worl best for everyone involved, and not because god said to do it a certain way.
but on other issues i have revised my previous moral structure:
- active atheist
- anarchist
- pro-choice
- ecocentrism
- equal rights for homosexuals
- anti-globalization
- legalization of "drugs".
and those are just the ones that out and out conflict with the JW worldview.
so i express my new freedom by just being me. the nicest thing about my new found "freedom", is that i am not afraid to be wrong. i could be wrong about any of my morals and ever widening boundaries. but it doesn't matter. i'm just an ape, trying to get along with other apes. i'll do my best, but i am not going to sweat my paleolithic brain any longer for some higher cultural/memetic power.
there are no wrong choices right now. just options.
TS
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TheresMoreToCome
I just smoked pot for the first time two days ago; it wasn't all that I expected it to be, but it felt good just to lose a piece of my naivety. I hate saying that, because it's stupid to take pride in such a thing. Maybe not stupid, but if taken to the extreme, destructive. I respect you tetraspod sapien, because your living proof that you don't need a religious moral structure to care about other people. I feel a little lost at the moment, and want to find a drug that numbs me without offing too many of my limited brain cells. I guess that's not really a good thing because if you look at the short amount of time we have, spending even a year in surreality is detrimental. I guess those are the negative consequences. A positive consequence is being able to enjoy sex, and to truly express. I enjoy writing (although I hardly ever finish a piece I start) but over the past few months everything I've started has been entirely free. I love being able to write of love and lust, and loss without holding anything back. I definitely feel that with a broader perspective, there comes a greater capacity to reason, and to create. So, hopefully I'll find my answers.
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ColdRedRain
I've somewhat taken a more libertarian veiw to morality, which is:
Do whatever you want to do or can do but cause no harm
If you do cause harm, make sure the harm you cause will save more people from harm than who you harm.
Logically examine every and all situations. Do not hold any sacred cows
Be empathetic. The person you could be screwing over could be yourself.
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tetrapod.sapien
hey theresmoretocome,
don't worry about wasting time. you are still young. go to school and find yourself, but don't sweat it in your twenties. have a good time.
regarding pot: the first time some people smoke it, it has next to no effect on them for some reason. so try a few more times, especially if you like to write and express yourself. but also go easy on it at first. have a toak and wait a half hour, and then have another one, etc etc etc. this is so that when it hits you for the first time, it's not like a tonne of bricks. -- listen to me! three months doing it, and already giving advice. but i have to say that it has started my creative juices flowing again after years of repression in the org because i did not think that my type of art was acceptable to joe hoba.
take care,
TS