aflack duck dies of bird flu

by candidlynuts 5 Replies latest social humour

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts


    oh noooo! lmao eh screwed that up..see post below..

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    hmm that page might change daily...heres the text of the article... gawd i love satire.. gives me the giggles.

    ATLANTA, GA – Avian Influenza claimed the life of The Aflac Duck today, which became the first American waterfowl to fall victim to the disease.

    The Aflac Duck apparently contracted the disease while on a publicity tour in Japan a couple of days ago.

    “The Japanese people are deeply saddened by this tragedy,” said Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi today. “We offer our condolences to the United States during these difficult times.”

    Soon after returning home, The Aflac Duck began showing symptoms of Bird Flu; fever, cough, sore throat and muscle aches, and was airlifted to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, where it was officially diagnosed with Bird Flu (Avian Influenza). Within 24 hours its condition had worsened to include eye infections, pneumonia, acute respiratory distress and other severe and life-threatening complications. In a press conference today, Aflac CEO Daniel Amos mourned The Aflac Duck’s death.

    “<cough> As soon as the doctors found out it had bird flu, they wanted to kill it. <sneeze> But we wouldn’t let them,” said Amos, who was at The Aflac Duck’s side when it died. “Truly, that duck was special. <cough> <sneeze> And people loved it. <sneeze> Why Lord? <cough> Why did you have to take that duck?”

    The Aflac Duck’s last word’s were: “AFLAC! Af…laaaaccc….”

    A stalwart employee till the bitter end, The Aflac Duck’s last word’s were: “AFLAC! Af…laaaaccc….,” according to Amos.

    The relentless spokes-bird for the American Family Life Assurance Company of Columbus (AFLAC) first debuted in a series of humorous commercials in January of 2000. Thanks to a wickedly charming personality and the uncanny ability to shout ‘AFLAC!’, the duck quickly grew to be beloved by millions of fans in both America and Japan.

    An emotionally devastated American nation struggled to cope with news of the loss.

    "I just feel lost, like, alone and in the dark, you know?" said 16 year-old Chicago native Clyde Saunders. "I mean, I was just 10 when that duck came along. And now it's dead!"

    “Oh I just loved those commercials so much,” said 64 year-old Wisconsin resident Ginny Skippers. “My favorite was the one where it chases away the Chinese delivery man by shouting ‘AFLAC!’ Teehee, that duck could always make me laugh.”

    However, not everyone mourned the advertising icon’s passing.

    "I say, good riddance to stupid bullshit," said 31 year-old New York comedian Marcus Wiggins. "That duck was annoying as hell. Just goes to show you, maybe this Bird Flu thing won't be so bad after all. Watch out Big Bird! You're next."

    BSNews Organization

  • under74
    under74

    lol candidly. I hated those commercial so good riddance!

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    OMG for a minute I thought this thread said, "ackack dies of bird flu". I think my heart stopped beating for a second.

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Dear Candidlynuts,

    Are you concerned? You may be at risk of the bird influenza.

    Steve

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i'm not worried, my high moral standards and my cleanliness will protect me from bird flu..

    plus, other birds wont play with me because they are jealous of my long legs.

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