I just got back from a trip to my home town Bakersfield, Ca. I spent most of my time with my mother and grandmother who are both still witnesses. My mom knows I pry won't be going back to the meetings but I get this feeling like she wants to ask me about it. My grandma who seems to be getting more cukoo by the minute, is a little more bold. She hummed Kingdom Melodies the WHOLE time I was around her and at one point said, "It's funny how those songs stay in your head isn't it?" I wanted to say, "I've burned those out of my memory completely!!" She kept talking about people at the cong. and whatnot. It just got really annoying!! I wonder when the day will come when they ask me if Ill come back or even if I want to go to the memorial. What will I say without hurting their feelings? I was also downtown with some friends and happened to park right in front of a little old couple witnessing on the street. I told my buddies to make no eye contact and to run into the store. As we did that I could here them say, "hellooo.." I kinda felt bad! Maybe it was because they were so old.
A trip home
by Krisiva10 6 Replies latest jw friends
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outnfree
Really, when you think back on it, our world was so limited when we were Witnesses, wasn't it? There just wasn't that much to talk about, because it was all a "Bible-based" life. The congregation, the meetings, and study and service were time-consuming and talking about "worldly" things was considered shallow. So it's no surprise that your Grandma (aging and possibly senile?) would hum Kingdom songs, and your mother, who probably would like to keep contact with you, is skirting the real question: Are you no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Try to bring them into your world a little at a time when you visit -- talk about your outside interests. And DON'T feel badly for helping your friends learn how to avoid being roped into a cult.
All the best,
outnfree
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Krisiva10
When I left the org. I felt like a cloud had been lifted from my head. I could see clearly and it was like a lightning bolt had revived my mind back into working! It makes me really sad to be around my mom and see how uneducated and unhappy she is. But I feel that if I try to reason with her about things on improving her life she dismisses it and would rather wallow in her own misery. I just hate seeing her like that. I remember when I was fighting my way out she told me that my brain was being brainwashed by someone else and thats why I wanted out. I said, "IM being brainwashed?!!!" and laughed. I just wonder if that stuck with her and she hasn't the education to actively question the thing that she's been fed all these years. The frustration with the pure ignorance of the whole this is almost too much. I've thought about writing a book about it all to relieve my mind of all these horrible realizations.
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Es
Know how you feel...last night went to visit the folks and i got " do you think you will come back" "we love you and we miss you" and im like you see me every week!!! Just enjoy my company. Then i got asked coz im marrying a "worldly" guy next month what will i do bout christmas and birthdays etc it was really stressful
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mrsjones5
hm I have family in Bakersfield who are jws. I wonder if your mother and grandmother knows them Krisiva, my aunt's name is Emmajo.
Josie
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mrs rocky2
My daughters have gone through just what you are experiencing when they visit my parents. My dad can't talk about anything but his JW activities. If he does talk about anything else, it's to criticize worldly people. He's gotten a little more bold about his displeasure of a college education and unfortunately has alienated his oldest granddaughter (who has since finished her 4-yr college degree). The youngest will be visiting right before Thanksgiving. She is a senior at a 4-yr college and has plans to go on to a PhD/MD program. It is so difficult to put up with their subtle propaganda but the girls love g'ma so much and can't imagine sawing her off just because they disagree with JW teachings, especially since g'ma is up in years and won't be around for too much longer (she's 81).
You mention writing a book - try journaling, even if you don't plan to publish. Write your thoughts and feelings down. It might help you sort out the emotional stress and get it out of your head. Just a thought. - Mrs Rocky
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Krisiva10
Josie- my Grandmas name is Angie Martinez, ask her if that rings a bell the next time you talk to her. : ) It's funny I mentioned to my grandma that I was going back to school and all she said was..ohhh thats nice meja in a like half assed caring tone. I almost said, "feel free to contribute to the school fund grammy!!" Yeah right!