To answer a few ?'s. Yes I have trivialized a lot, but I'm healing so well. I was just waiting to explode with exploration of all types of spiritualty that secretly fascinated me.I know I was df'd, I was just surprised I didn't get a chance to appeal, I had a great letter waiting. Yes I have read dear Raymond books- very helpful. And yes I now detest the status titles, I only used them to show how deep I was.
A quick story. At a meeting last year with the elders (when my questioning began) one of them made the comment that there is a fine line between being objective and apostate. The next day my mother -in-law told me that my sensitivity, openhearteness, and logic would cause me to leave the Org. So ultimately I was being told that if I could be insensitive, closehearted, illogical, and unobjective (very subjective) then I would be fine! The saddest part is that they don't know how right they are.