Exaggerated Protection of Freedom - is there a such thing?

by Smiles_Smiles 2 Replies latest jw friends

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  Smiles_Smiles

  I am wondering if this is a JW side effect. Feel free to keep bitterness and bashing to yourself, please.

  Ok ... here goes ... I find that the feeling of being free after being in religious bondage for so long is so intoxicating that I have a hard time even committing relationship wise. That is committing in 'word' not deed. Monogamy is 'my' nature so I have no problem being exclusive. I have a problem promising exclusivity. I even find myself avoiding moving forward with an engagment because it feels ... hmmm ... like I am giving over my freedom. I wonder is this the residual from being feed that overly submissive female bs for so long.

  Marriage to me seems like it's just a contract with the state not some sacred thing from 'god'. Besides most of them I saw in the 'truth' were unhappy at the core and just seemed 'stuck'. And the ones in the so called world don't seem much better. I feel you can be happy single or married but my perhaps warped view of freedom is somehow connected with singlehood. hmmm ... is this just MY insanity? Or can u relate?
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  sass_my_frass

  Hi, yes I see my brand-new marriage as a contract too, but with my husband, not god or the state. If it wasn't for the fact that I would totally dash the hopes of seeing my family again, I'd happily have chosen to spend life with him unmarried. But that's not what you're saying; you're talking about just having a relationship. Somebody else just brought something like this up: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100741/1.ashx ... as lifetime witnesses, they regret only having slept with each other and wish they'd had a chance to experiment before marriage. I did love the freedom of being single but longed for companionship, so was willing to sacrifice it. To be honest though as far as I can tell the only freedom I've given up is license to be attracted to somebody else and do something about it. That's a small price to pay for a soulmate, to me. I think that witness marriage failures are due to various factors; being too young, just wanting sex, not knowing themselves, not understanding where their faith is coming from, overinvolvement of family and the witness community in your relationship.... and then there are pretty standard factors such as our generation having everything marketed as disposable and replaceable. People our age don't like to repair things when they break.
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  Smiles_Smiles

  Thank u for the reply. Definitly things to think about.

  I will check the other thread too.