Drama script for the next convention

by sass_my_frass 6 Replies latest social humour

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    My non-JW hubbie wrote this last night, whose sole exposure to JW gatherings is a couple of hours at the last convention....

    [Setting: The present day. A father is in a comfortable chair in his lounge room, reading a copy of "Awake!" His son enters...]

    Son [in irritatingly enthusiastic mid-west US accent]: "Hey Dad, guess what? I just got home from University, where they taught me that I should critically examine the claims of my Elders, rather than mindlessly accepting them as unchanging Dogma!"

    Father: (visibly shaken) "Well son, let's see what the publications have to say about this situation..."

    [They move to a bookcase stuffed from floor to ceiling with back issues of "Watchtower" and "Awake!"]

    Father: "Hmm, well son, according to this 1967 copy of "Watchtower" I have to take you outside the city and stone you for Heresy. Just wait here a moment while I fetch my hat..."

    Son [anxiously riffling through his own copy]: "Err, wait a second, Dad! It says here in the July 1981 issue that you just have to bend me over a barstool and bugger me!"

    Father: "Oh well, if that's the current situation, I guess you'd better assume the position..."

    [Son gets a barstool from the next room, and leans over it. Father starts removing pants. Mother enters.]

    Mother: "My! What's going on here?!"

    Father: "Oh, just a little discipline. Junior here has comitted the terrible sin of Heresy, and we've discovered that the punishment for this transgression is buggery."

    Mother: "That can't be right, surely you're supposed to take him outside the city and stone him?"

    Father: "Apparently that went out in 1981. Well, bottoms up, son..."

    Mother: "Wait a moment, have you checked the most up-to-date publication?"

    [She takes out the latest issue and riffles through it. Triumphantly, she points to a page.]

    Mother: "There, I knew you shouldn't have been so hasty! It says right here that the punishment for heresy is actually to be put in a straitjacket with your eyelids propped open while you sit through a 18-hour session of endlessly repeated video of the most recent Bethel convention, while someone sits next to you putting drops in your eyes and slapping your cheeks to make sure you keep watching!"

    Father: "But... how does that differ from any other convention?"

    [the drama continues... feel free to write the next act]

  • twinflame
    twinflame

    OMG....I almost peed my pants. Tell your hubbie he's a real quick study...catches right on.

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    sass thats really good.

    i'm so jealous you're hubby sounds great!

  • theinfamousone
    theinfamousone

    damn hes good!!!!

    next scene, at the kingdom hall:

    same fatjher and son in the second room, son bent over and pantless, father ready to mount him... but right before te does, the elders walk in and say, "what are you doing br. Smythe?"

    Br. Smythe: "Well, my son committed heresy and i am punishing him. I know im supposed to go to 18 hours straight of convention, but i prefer this punishment, since my wife wont have sex with me because you have all made her tihnkits evil..."

    Elder Johnson (aka PO):"I understand. we just have to do one thing a little differently!!"

    the whole elder body of seven drops their pants and mount the boy one at a time.

    the young boy was disfellowshipped that same meeting for homsexuality...

    the infamous one

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    You're a dark man, aren't you infamous?

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    infamous that was the sh!t.

  • Es
    Es

    LOL that was awesome heheheh

    es

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