My non-JW hubbie wrote this last night, whose sole exposure to JW gatherings is a couple of hours at the last convention....
[Setting: The present day. A father is in a comfortable chair in his lounge room, reading a copy of "Awake!" His son enters...]
Son [in irritatingly enthusiastic mid-west US accent]: "Hey Dad, guess what? I just got home from University, where they taught me that I should critically examine the claims of my Elders, rather than mindlessly accepting them as unchanging Dogma!"
Father: (visibly shaken) "Well son, let's see what the publications have to say about this situation..."
[They move to a bookcase stuffed from floor to ceiling with back issues of "Watchtower" and "Awake!"]
Father: "Hmm, well son, according to this 1967 copy of "Watchtower" I have to take you outside the city and stone you for Heresy. Just wait here a moment while I fetch my hat..."
Son [anxiously riffling through his own copy]: "Err, wait a second, Dad! It says here in the July 1981 issue that you just have to bend me over a barstool and bugger me!"
Father: "Oh well, if that's the current situation, I guess you'd better assume the position..."
[Son gets a barstool from the next room, and leans over it. Father starts removing pants. Mother enters.]
Mother: "My! What's going on here?!"
Father: "Oh, just a little discipline. Junior here has comitted the terrible sin of Heresy, and we've discovered that the punishment for this transgression is buggery."
Mother: "That can't be right, surely you're supposed to take him outside the city and stone him?"
Father: "Apparently that went out in 1981. Well, bottoms up, son..."
Mother: "Wait a moment, have you checked the most up-to-date publication?"
[She takes out the latest issue and riffles through it. Triumphantly, she points to a page.]
Mother: "There, I knew you shouldn't have been so hasty! It says right here that the punishment for heresy is actually to be put in a straitjacket with your eyelids propped open while you sit through a 18-hour session of endlessly repeated video of the most recent Bethel convention, while someone sits next to you putting drops in your eyes and slapping your cheeks to make sure you keep watching!"
Father: "But... how does that differ from any other convention?"
[the drama continues... feel free to write the next act]