details in comm. meeting?

myvalk

anyone have any idea how much details of the wrongdoing the elders will be asking in a comm. meeting? and does refusal to answer mean im getting df'd?

sir82

It all depends on the particular elders.

In general, they will want a lot of detail. Your willingness to open up will play a large part in the judgment. If they feel you are holding back, they will likely deem that "lack of repentance". If you lie & they catch you, you're toast.

If you want to avoid d-fing, talk a lot about how horrible you feel about damaging your relationship with Jehovah, how awful that you brought reproach on his name, etc. Tears help a lot.

If you don't care one way or the other, do as you please.

IP_SEC

They are officially only supposed to ask enough to know for sure whether or not a grave sin was committed, and what led up to it so as to know how to help you not do it again.

For example: In the case of sex, they will want to know the extent of the contact, as a casual touch to the breast or passionate kissing is not by itself pornia. They would try to find out what body parts were touched, the intention of the touch, etc.

What let up to it: Did it "just happen" or did the party(s) scheme on purpose, or set out with the intent to sin.

You can be dfed if you dont answer IF there are two witnesses, or you have confessed.

bigwilly

Or if it's like mine, they will bring up every rumored wrongdoing ever heard of

I was actually drug (dragged?) in because of remote involvement with my sisters offenses (smoking and beers). they then took the opportunity to bring up any rumors of my personal alcohol consumption over the last several years. There had been drinking, but the rumors were waaaayy off, so I was able to deny them

I say follow sir82's advice and play the part if you wanna stay in. Since you're male, if you act (very convincingly) repentant you will more than likely just be reproved (depending on the alleged "sin") loss of priveleges, etc, etc, blah, blah.

Big Willy

ICBehindtheCurtain

My sister and I were just talking about this, someone close to us might be dragged into a JC meeting, and basically we told him to just pretend to be really sorry, and repentant, and very humble, they won't know any different without 2 witnesses. The funny thing, no, one of the funny things about this religion is that the way it's structured, as long as you don't disagree with what they say, or have a haughty attitude when called in, you can fool them, because we know it doesn't matter either way, the end result is that they end up with many people who are JW's just to not lose their social life or family, who put in fake hours and can inform others about the lies and contradictions about the religion, and they will never know who did it.

So in essence they create their own monsters, when a family member is df'd they are told "well, you know what you have to do, to have a relationship with us again", essentially you are bribed into coming back, although some people don't care and are just glad to be out, others are devastated and alone in the world, and eventually swallow their pride and although they no longer believe in the ~~"Lie"~~ , "Truth" they come back, and get their freinds and family back, this is all such BS .

IC (of the, God let the "Watchtower the Great", fall SOON! class)

atypical

I personally have heard of many committee meetings where the brothers asked for every graphic detail imaginable (positions, technique, even worse I am too polite to actually type it), and people who thought they actually had to answer the questions!! It will be tough, but sir82 is right on the money if you want to avoid the big D.

blindersoff

Here are some directions to the elders from the elders secret manual

UNIT 5 (b)

111

You must ask pertinent, discreet questions to isolate main
issues and determine how or why a problem developed.

Probing questions should not go into needless details,
especially in regard to sexual misconduct, unless this is
absolutely necessary, such as in determining whether
por-nei'a had been committed.

Elders need to treat the accused kindly and respectfully,
never harshly. (w89 9/15 p. 19)

In cases where it is established that a serious sin was actually committed, the judicial committee should con-
sider such factors as these:

Is there evidence of the person's craving wrongful things
or courting trouble? Or did the person momentarily
succumb to weakness? (Jas. 4:1 )

Was he aware of the gravity of his sin? (Gal. 6:1 )

Had he been admonished that his course was leading
toward danger? (1 Thess. 5:14)

What were the circumstances leading up to the wrong-
doing?

Are there extenuating factors, such as emotional or
mental disorders or having been a victim of some type
of abuse in the past, that should be considered?

Was it a single offense, or was it committed more than
once?

112

"Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock"

Was his confession voluntary, or did he have to be ac-
cused by others before confessing?

Was his reluctance to speak more a result of deep shame
than of lack of repentance?

Above all does he show true repentance and manifest a
heartfelt desire to avoid repetition of the wrong?

It is in the person's favor if he voluntarily confesses,
but the determining factor is: Is he repentant?

There is good reason for you to weigh carefully claims of
repentance when the individual has shown himself to be
guilty of hypocrisy, lying, or making deliberate efforts to
deceive.

Also be cautious when it is apparent that the wrong act
was preceded by deliberate scheming, perhaps in a cold,
calculating way.

This is quite different from when an individual, under
the unexpected pressure ot certain tempting circum-
stances, gives in because of human weakness.

It is particularly important to be sure genuine repen-tance exsts in cases of repeated sin, a practice of sin.

If gross sin extended over a long period of time, particular
care should be exercised in determining the genuineness of
the repentance. (w81 9/1 p. 26)

Is the person cooperative? When questioned, are his
answers forthright?

Was fear and weakness the reason he did not come
forward and confess, or is he wicked, trying to fool the
congregation?

Has he been counseled before for this sin?

Repentance is generally manifested by works that befit repentance either before or during the committee hear-
ing. (Compare Acts 26:20. )

How true repentance can be recognized:

Has the individual contritely prayed to Jehovah and
sought His forgiveness and mercy?

Caution: Some wrongdoers, though repentant, find
it difficult to pray. (Jas. 5:14 )

Has he admitted his wrongdoing, either voluntarily to
some of the elders before the hearing or when con-
fronted by his accusers?

Caution: Some people are so deeply ashamed that
they are reluctant to speak. Or they have difficulty
expressing themselves.

Has he made restitution, expressed willingness to do so,
or apologized to offended persons, those damaged by
his sinful course?

114

"Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock"

What seems to motivate the sadness, remorse, and
regret he shows? Is it worldly sadness (sorrow over
being caught) or heartfelt godly sadness? (2 Cor. 7:
8-11 )

Does he have deep regret over a damaged relation-
ship with Jehovah, remorse over the reproach he has
brought upon Jehovah's name and people, and sincere
longing to come back into God's favor?

Does his attitude include a heart-motivated rejection of
the bad course as something repugnant, hated? (Rom.
12:9)

details in comm. meeting?

myvalk

sir82

IP_SEC

bigwilly

ICBehindtheCurtain

atypical

blindersoff

FairMind

SWALKER

sass_my_frass

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