'Meeting' my non-witness family

by sass_my_frass 3 Replies latest social family

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  sass_my_frass

  I'd like for my witness family to have to answer to my non-witness family for how they treat me. Motherdarling complained that her sister asked her 'what will Sass do if something goes wrong for her?' I should have asked her what it meant; that she couldn't justify the shunning either.

  I'm just getting around losing the family and friends, and a coping mechanism is that I've made contact with my non-witness family - aunts, uncles, grandparents. I'm sad that I never really knew my grandparents (Motherdarling having slowed association with them after joining the cult) but I'm now becoming good friends, and just in time I think - the sun is starting to set.... :( It's great to be getting to know them, finally, and it's great for them that a 'long-lost grandchild' is back in their lives (well it's nice to think I'm good for them too).

  One scary thought I've just had - that my witness parents and siblings will lie to them about me and turn them away from me too. Surely they'll see through it though? I don't want to involve my 'new' family in the witness games (eg I don't ask them for gossip on the others). I just know how easy it is for a witness to lie to protect their organisation and am sure that my family do it to prevent themselves from looking like the loveless clones they are. If they pretend that I was the one to do the cutting off, I'd be cut.

  I suppose I can only stay friends with them, and let that speak for itself. They're probably used to the games by now.

  Sorry it's a silly thing to bring up but I've decided to keep a diary of only 'happy thoughts' and so have started using this site to track all my ugly witness-related feelings. The bonus is, this diary talks back!
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  misspeaches

  Hey Sass

  I think many here can relate to your fear.

  The good news is that family who never have been dubs tend to think a lot more rationally and logically. I've read accounts on here where family members have tried to descredit others to each other and the never were JW's see right through it.

  You sound like you have a good family. You bit the bullet and initiated contact and from what I understand they have been completely receptive.

  You don't have to gossip about them or explain anything about the JW's. But if they ask you any questions just answer concisely. That's all you need.

  And don't forget all the online friends you can make here too!
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  caligirl

  Hi Sass -

  I doubt that your non-witness family will side with your witness family. Haven't they been rejected by your parents and held at a great distance? I think that people who have experienced the first hand judgement and rejection would probably be pretty slow to do the same thing back to you because of something your parents say. Your parents credibility with their non-witness family is probably pretty thin.

  My personal experience was very positive. We were instantly welcomed into the family as if we had always been there, and we were able to educate our family members as to what the witness thing is all about, and find out more about our parents and events that made them vulnerable to falling for the witness b.s. to start with.

  I never got to tell my grandparents that I was leaving the witnesses. I did not ever have the opportunity to give them a Christmas or a Birthday gift. Spend as much time as you can with your grandparents and do everything you can to create memories with them while you have the chance.
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  anewme

  I too have rediscovered my lost non-witness family....brother, nieces and nephews, friends of my parents and former neighbors have become close to me.
  
  I found there was alot of love out there in the world just waiting for me!
  
  
  Ps. Sass, Billygoat had a thread a while back about her real diary she calls her blessing diary.
  I thought that was an excellent idea that I should take up.
  It would be a daily reminder and excercise in positive thinking.