Dumb-Ass Bible Characters

by Black Man 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Black Man
    Black Man

    Whether or not you believe the bible to be true, you must admit that the portrayal of some of its characters are really dumb. My picks for stupidest characters in the good book are:

    Eve: Gets the dunce cap and the invite to stand in the corner everlastingly. A perennial pick of many. Eating forbidding fruit, conversing with snakes and etc., the list can go on and on.

    Jehovah (of the Hebrew Scriptures): Creating man. Creating man w/instincts only to set up rules in opposition. Making an issue of universal import come down to the eating of a single piece of fruit. Killing man. Killing man again. The original terminator. His mass killings would make Mr. Schwarznegger blush. And he's not done yet....He'll be back........

    Servant boy at the House of Dagon? (Sampson's Time) - Did it not dawn on this dude that blind Sampson wanted his hands on the pillars to take him and everyone else in the spot out?

    Israelites (Hebrew Scriptures) - Nothing need be said.

    Peter - When I look at the various accounts involving him he forshadowed village idiots who are elders whose BS you'd have to put up with.

    Balaam - C'mon kiss your ASS.

    This all I can think up at the moment. More to come. Who are your picks for Dumb-Ass Bible Characters?

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    Audire Hominus Africanus:

    Non dicit verbatum stultus. Non server pro nihil bene. Suntes ioci terribiles.

    Pax et Iurus!

  • riz
    riz

    UR took the words right out of my mouth.

    Also, Lot was a righteous man of god who enjoyed getting drunk and having sex with his daughters.

    riz

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    RIZ:

    TUUM FOTOGRAFIA ET PULCHRAE! GRATIA AMICUS NOVUS!

  • philo
    philo

    Jephthah was a pretty dumb-assed negotiator, who gave the first person to walk out his house as a sacrifice to Jehovah. What a spanner!

    philo

  • riz
    riz

    UR,

    I worked hard on this, so please don't laugh.

    Ego laetus spectare tui amicus.

    Or something.

    riz

  • teejay
    teejay

    What's that noise I hear? Is somebody banging on a cymbal?

  • Darkchilde
    Darkchilde

    You forgot Adam, dude. After all, he IS the one who had explicit directions directly from God not to eat the fruit, and he was also told -- again, by GOD ALIMIGHTY -- that if he ate it, he would die. But when got an eyeful of Eve's nice knockers, he forgot all that and said, "Duh... OKAY!"

    I don't think men have changed much since.

    *Rochelle, diving into her bomb shelter.

  • Black Man
    Black Man

    up.................

  • anglise
    anglise

    Maybe the dumbest ones are us for giving them credence nearly 7000 years later.

    They are myths and allegories.

    Anglise (who is neither)

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