by bagpuss 8 Replies latest jw friends
My son who is 20 was remembering a few of the more amusing visits to the kingdom hall. His favourite was when a brother announced
"The new magazines are in brothers and sisters. Be sure to collect them promptly as the brothers don't want to come out in the kingdom hall"
Did you have any amusing announcements?
At a small KH in a remote area that we were visiting. The one and only MS was assigned the announcements part at the Service Meeting. This is how it went: Stomp, Stomp, Stomp from the back of the Hall to the podium .... "There are no announcements" ..... Stomp, Stomp, Stomp to the back of the Hall.
Cellist
I remember a couple of comments made in wt studies that were amusing:
One brother commented that the churches of Christendom were more interested in getting bums on seats than actually helping people spiritually, and when the wt overseer asked a question about getting children to behave an interested person who was there for the first time whispered, loudly enough for everyone to hear "kill em". Dp will remember that one as well, he was reading the wt that day.
At one Watchtower study in our Hall the elder conducting the study had a hard time remembering people's names. He was forever having to give the mike handlers descriptions so they could find the person he wanted to answer. One Sunday he said, "the sister over there, ...uh, um, (insert lots of stutterings)... MY WIFE!" Everybody laughed.
Cellist
When I used to conduct the Watchtower, I would sometimes say things without thinking them through. Once we were discussing how important it is not to counsel newly interested ones or Bible students on certain organizational issues they were not yet ready to bear. (For instance, we wouldn't tell a new Bible study they had to, say, stop smoking in order for the study to continue.) Then I said something like...
"If we're with a new Bible student, and they say something about God's being part of a Trinity, would we feel compelled to disprove that point at this time, before it comes up in the study? No. We don't need to pull the rug out from under them. (pause) We can do that later."
There was a small roar of laughter, and it was only then I realized what I'd said.
We had a family at the hall who had the last name, Crapps. Whenever their father would conduct the watchtower study and one of this family members wanted to comment ( they often sat in the back seats) this is how he would call on them. Yes, Brother Crapps in the rear or Sister Crapps in the rear. Get it.. Craps in the rear. You would almost always hear a snicker.
DIMPLES
Hey, ya'll had some good ones! Especially the one on "Crapps" Classic!
All the jokes they make in my hall I think are always corny and I almost never laugh. Like when the speaker during the Service Meeting instructs those "who have parts in the back school to leave" and he'll be like " whoa! there's a great crowd going back there tonight!" GAG!
Or when a young sister in the hall made a comment about how "all those in Satan's world who are not paying attention to the time of the end are" (instead of saying "like stupid ones) she said "are stupid" and everyone laughed. Double GAG! Oh yeah, its real funny to call someone "stupid" especially since you feel superior to them anyway 'oh chosen one of God!'
But there was that one time when the brother during the bkstudy asked us all to go around the room to read the scriptures for the week after our study in the Daniel book (instead of assigning scipture to those who raised their hands, he just had us each read a verse) and there was a D'F sister in the group and the sister after her did not know she was D'F and she was like "Your turn!" real loud thinking she had lost track! D'F girl was like "you go" lookin all uncomfortable! Now that was classic!!
There was an old couple from Poland at our congo. The brother was of the anointed. Anyway, he passed away and the wife asked my father to do the funeral talk. She was a very dour old woman. After the service, she comes up to my dad and says loudly in her heavy Polish accent: "You do good job. I s'prised!" There was lots of snickering and my dad snorted and laughed, partly in relief the whole ordeal was over.
| There was a young boy, who had been goofing around, (something children do, duh!!) and finally his father took him to the bathroom to spank him. Before we heard the sounds of him getting his bee-hind whacked, we heard him yell out, "Jehovah, please save me".....the entire congregation howled.....it took the WT conductor a few moments to compose himself before he could resume the study. |
