Somebody should write this lady a letter!

by Why Georgia 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    This comes from todays Ask Amy. It really made me mad reading this.

    The columist obviously isn't aware that many religions shun - some more than others!

    http://www.tmsfeatures.com/tmsfeatures/subcategory.jsp?custid=67&catid=1843

    SUDDEN CHANGE IN MOM COULD BE A WARNING SIGN

    By Amy Dickinson

    Tribune Media Services

    DEAR AMY: I just received an e-mail from my 80-year-old mother. The following is part of what she wrote.

    "When a member quits the church, the church withdraws from him if he cannot see the light and come back. At this time I have to withdraw from you. I love you very much. Please take this the way it was meant - to make you realize you are lost and must consider coming back to Christ and His church."

    I left the church when I left home at 18; I'm now 58. I guess this means she won't be seeing my 7-month-old granddaughter or my daughter and her husband anymore.

    My daughter has never been to church. I saved her from this kind of lunacy.

    It also means that my mother's cut herself off from her entire family.

    What should I tell my daughter and son-in-law? What should I say to my mother? - Stunned

    DEAR STUNNED: If your 80-year-old mother is suddenly behaving strangely, then you should investigate the possible causes before writing her off.

    If this is the first time your mother has threatened to withdraw from you, then aren't you curious about what might be going on with her?

    She may have fallen under the sway of a charismatic preacher; she may be going through a rough time personally, or have the beginnings of dementia.

    Before you prepare speeches to other members of your family decrying this "lunacy," you should do your best to get to the bottom of what might be behind your mother's pronouncement.

    You should make a special effort to see your mother in person to find out what is going on. You can start your conversation by saying, "Mom, I'm worried about you; the e-mail you sent to me doesn't even sound like you. What's going on?" You could check in with her friends and physicians to see if there are any recent changes in her health and look into her finances to make sure that her church contributions are in the normal range.

    If you are confident that your mother is of sound mind and that she really does want to cut herself off from you because of this, then you have to accept it.

    Because of her age, however, I hope that you will do your best to try to keep in touch with her, even if it's difficult for you.

    (Send questions via e-mail to [email protected] or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.)

  • hubert
    hubert

    Whygeorgia, I think Amy gave good advice. ie: Find out what's going on with the mother before making any decisions.

    Hubert

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    I'm sorry but I seem to be missing the point.

  • under74
    under74

    I have to go with Hubert on this...I think it was good advice. I know the part about accepting it is hard to take but we all have to do that whether it's right or not. But she pointed out that this person should try to stay in contact--whether or not the mother wanted that contact.

    Was it that you got angry about this because it happens in general? Or was it the response?

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    I think what bothered me is that this happens at all and this lady won't be having anything to do with her son - she can't live much longer than 10-15 years being that she is 80.

    But also that this advice columnist doesn't even seem informed that some groups teach these things....she thinks its mental illness or just one bad preacher - not that whole religions/cults/high control groups do this to their flocks not just with JW's but with Mormons, Catholics, Amish, Christian Scientists....etc..

    WG

  • under74
    under74

    I don't know Why Georgia. The response seemed informed to me...although anyone can feel free to disagree.

    The thing I see is that even though it's not right what this lady is doing to her kid...it may cause more damage to try to force her to have contact.

    Just my opinion.

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