JW & non-JW Relationship...gone bad?

by Bashed_BF 3 Replies latest social relationships

  • Bashed_BF
    Bashed_BF

    Hey I'm not a jehovah witness but i need some points of views from you on this subject[i had nice long written version but it was deleted on accident when i tryed to backspace]

    Anywayz I Started dating a jehovah witness a little under a year ago...She wasnt to beleiving in the religion and wasnt to big on it but her Mom made her go every thursday and sunday none the less. She knew her mom wouldnt accept her in a relationship. She tryed to explain this to me...I told her it didnt matter to me. I Just knew that i cared about her that much. I just wanted to be with her anyway i could. so we finally did start dating. We only had time together at school. She drove her moms van sometimes...mostly her mom drove her and picked her up tho. after about 2 weeks of this We couldn't take it anymore we needed some time to just ourselves. So she told her sister to tell her mom that she had a detention one day so we could go to my freinds and just spend some time together. her dad Went into the school to confirm that she had a detention cuz he didnt trust her at all. of course she didn't so they went berzerk and totally freaked out on her and moved her to the school in her town. But the next night after that she called me and told me she was going to steal their van and come into town to see me. So i called in to school sick and spent the day with her. Evenually she had to go back...She left a ring at my house...Which i'v been carrying with me everyday since that day. After that incident i was only able to hear from her through one of her freinds at her church...it was a risk for both her and freind that really didnt want to take but had little choice. She had a crazy plan...she hated her home life...She hated everything there pretty much..she wanted out she wanted to run-away. Her Best freind and I were all for it at first...but soon her Best freind decided not to...But i wasnt going to just sit by on the side lines and just wait...I took my car out there one night and picked her up and we drove all night and day...We eneded up in wahoo, Nebraska[we live in central Kansas] After we got arrested and hauled back to kansas...I had hoped that maybe it might show her mom that she doesnt have to protect her from me but instead she forced her to break up with me which...didnt work. 2-3 months later i was back out there again and was caught inside their house. arrested and hauled back to my house.[No charges woo] Anywayz we straitened things out again things blow over and she had a 'stable' life style again. We comunicated through freinds as best we could...stil that wasnt enough so i bought a cell phone and gave it to her...We talked like this for about a month. I got some freinds to take me out to her house. We decided to make a go at runnin and staying away from her house again. We were gone for 3-4 days...We slept where we could...ate what we could...we slept outside in the rain once....40 degrees wind blowin soakin wet...not fun. We didnt want to go back to that...We wanted to stay together...We ran out of money...food...place to sleep. we were tired hungry and probly dehydrated. We had about 6 hours sleep in 3-4 days. We surrendered ourselves...we had no choice...cops were on the look...PI's were lookin. After all that i thought just maybe her mom might see...but i didnt happen...That was 3 weeks ago...I havnt heard from her since...I dont know what has happened to her...drives me insane

    Anywayz I know I'm not the model person I'm not perfect but i know i care about and i know she doesnt like where shes at. I'll do anything to get her out. i know what i'v done could of been avoided and should have been. I would like ur comments or question about the situation in general tho...please

    -lataz-

  • crbloss
    crbloss

    You are going about this all wrong. I am thinking you two are under 18, right? Look, when I was growing
    up, I didn't like be in my household either. Now that I am older I am so thankful for the way I was
    raised. If you believe that you are so in love, try doing something right for a change. Running away
    is NOT the answer. Has young adults you can not appreciate what your parents are doing or not
    doing for you, it's not until you get older that you understand. Her parents are only doing what they
    are suppose to do "protect their daughter from something that might harm her". That saying you were
    harm her, but you too are young, you can even move out and take care of yourselves.. what if
    she get pregnate? Babies are EXPENSE!! Believe me I know. How about going to her home and sitting
    down talking to her parents. Tell them how you two feel, then respect them as parents. If you really
    want to spend some time with her, how about asking to attend some meetings with the family, maybe
    having a bible study with them to learn why they do the things they do. You two need to slow down
    a little. Life is not that fast. Get to know her family better and get to know each other better.
    Build stronger ground. It will work out, if you do it correctly.

  • Bashed_BF
    Bashed_BF

    I know running away is not the anwser

    I'v gone to their church before against my parents because they thinks it jus brain wash religion talk[no offense, its just what my parents said] But i'v gone to a church meeting before...I'v tryed to talking to her mom, but its her dad When were gone we went back to her house once and her dad was 'Get the hell out here and never come back' hes a total F*ckin a$$hole. hes her step dad and he just uses her and her sister for shi!t he needs.

    Your right about life tho...It is slow

  • SusanHere
    SusanHere

    Bashed,

    Sorry to tell you, but you are in a total losing position here. You are not going to win her parents over, and after past actions you and she have been involved in, they will never allow you near her or them, unless they are idiots. Parents believe they are doing the best by their children, or most believe they are, anyway. Whether they are or not, unless what they are doing is actually illegal, nobody can interfere and get away with it. The parents will only come down harder on the child in question, with more rules, more restrictions, more watchfulness, and less opportunity for the child to go the other way than the parents want.

    Not fair? Probably not. But to the parents' way of thinking, what you have tried to do is definitely not fair. I threatened more than one of my teens' suitors with jail and/or physical harm if they didn't end attempted relationships my husband and I did not approve of. That is a natural protective instinct for a parent. Trying to go around them will only make them close ranks even tighter.

    Bottom line...You and she want to go your own way? As soon as you are both of legal age, feel free. Until then, you are only butting your heads against a stone wall.

    BTW -- an arrest record is not a good thing to have. It's not worth it.

    I'm not JW, but that's my 2 cents, as a parent.

    Susan

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