I found this one of mine...on a site.
Observations at Assemblies
I gotta get me one of dem signs that says "BROTHERS NEEDED" and walk around the assembly all day with it like that guy with the bad acne is doing...maybe I can find me a Millennium Man and settle on down for eternity. Someone actually sits all day making those stupid signs: PLEASE BE SEATED, KEEP MOVING PLEASE, HOLD HANDRAIL, VOLUNTEERS WANTED, USE ONLY TWO TOWELS PLEASE, SISTERS PLEASE DON'T APPLY MAKEUP IN REST ROOMS, PEEP HOLE TO SISTER'S JOHN IS ABOVE THE THIRD URINAL FROM THE LEFT. There are never enough johns for the sisters who get virtually all the trips to the john with the kids while their counterparts sit taking (mental) notes about the attributes of the sisters going back and forth to the johns. The rest of them are sleeping with their eyes open or working in the "Trucking" department. When they were still serving food at assemblies, working in trucking was definitely a Chick Magnet job. Now it's limited to a few lucky brothers with connections running pickup for garbage and recycling containers, so the pickens are slim. They would get to take off the suit coats and roll up the sleeves, revealing major pec-age, wielding huge dumpsters up and down the corridors which could be heard echoing in the post lunch break quiet, and would rival even Jehovah's own voice during pre lunch dramas. A veritable testosterone rush.
Working the lunch distribution counters when they were still doing the food thang, and using the food tickets, was the most horrifying experience one could have. Especially if you weren't particularly good at adding on your feet. "Let's see...uh, one roast beef, one chicken sandwich, two Danish, 2 lemon limes, a fruit bag, one milk, that's uh, three-fifty--no FOUR fifty, uh, chips are uh, 15 and .....I think well....(damn!) Just give me five and we'll call it even. NEXT!" There you are standing and facing a hungry mob, 45 people deep, whose sole break from the terminus bordomnetude of this assembly was to EAT. And the only thing standing between them and that food was YOU...it was not for the weak of heart.
So then they went to the no ticket/no cash CONTRIBUTION method, then NO HOT LUNCH method, then BYOS finally to "simplify" things...never giving up the CONTRIBUTION thing though...BYOS, y'all, but pay ANYWAY for the privilege of BYOS. Next they will be serving Tang and astronaut rations to save on garbage, and then maybe try connecting everybody to community G-tubes that hang from the ceiling like oxygen masks in an airplane, and feeding everybody at their seats so they never have to stop the Assembly program at all. More likely the WTS was losing money big time because nobody could add and them who was selling the tickets was pocketing the proceeds. We used to sell tickets from behind the betting windows in our race track/assembly site. It was a strange sensation doing this "holy" thing in this den of iniquity from behind steel bars and bullet proof glass no less. It felt like a scene from "The Sting." You half expected the temple prostitutes to meander in not knowing their usual clientele were on hiatus. And I won't even go INTO what it was like to clean the bathrooms of a race track facility when you only were at the place once a year, and they KNEW you would clean it for them free come summer time if they gave it to us Dubs for "free." We not only cleaned the place, we repaired it, painted it, scrubbed the concrete floors and installed all new sound systems. You tell ME who was laughing about that deal. There were people cleaning unknown bodily substances from bathroom walls there that never cleaned their own johns, and any child labor laws or health codes were strictly overlooked for Jehoover. Its a wonder that we didn't all die of hepatitis and give birth to two-headed kids in the aftermath like Chernobyl.
LovesMeNot