Personnally, I had this big problem of culpability when my parents decided to stop to go at the meeting. When I was going to high school, I wasn't a jw anymore but I didn't want to participate to the party and other stuffs like that because the WatchTower told me that it was wrong. After six years out of the org, I'm just starting to feel free and I realized that we can look at the personnality of someone to see if it's a good friend instead of just try to see if he obey to what the WBTS told us. Did you find it hard to have new friend in the worldy people? All of my friends were jw and if they talk to me, it will be because they want me back in the org. Presently, I would consider me as lonely person because I don't find a lot of person like me. Alse, if you are an ex-jw, did you suffer a lot because you were different at school?
Problem with culpability?
by Nicolas 4 Replies latest jw experiences
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Gopher
Hi Nicolas,
Welcome to the discussion board!! Feel free to jump on and post, it's a good place to come for support and ideas.
I'm sorry you're finding it lonely, starting out on your own. I left the organization last year at age 39, and I felt VERY alone at first. I had my sister, but she is busy with her family and so I cannot demand all of her time. So I went back and found an old friend from high school, and then a friend from childhood who also WAS a JW but is not now. I'm enjoying being back together with these 2 good people, and they are or will introduce me to their friends as time goes on. It's a slow process, but worth it. I'm sure you will find a good friend or two. That's all it takes to start filling the void.
And their kind of friendship is REAL, not based on some organization's opinion about you! It is so refreshing.
And yes, I was a "square", very different at school. I was treated as such and got very few invitations to go places, except for a couple of very nice people....Being "square", I never had any offers for drugs or sex from my schoolmates...people just knew I'd say no, so for the most part I was left alone--by people of all sorts!
I'm trying, with what's left of my life, to recover some sense of normality. I hope you can too!
GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) -
jayhawk1
I can't add to what Gopher said. Like Gopher it is hard to meet new people. I can suggest regestering for various internet clubs and interest groups. I once put an ad in Yahoo looking for friends. You also sound like me, early twenties. I must admit it is lonely getting started in real life, but it is worth the effort. My email is included by my handle, you are always welcome to write me. I hope you post on the main forum, because we would love to hear from you.
"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
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Nicolas
I left the 'truth' at 37 years of age and I can completely identify with what you are saying. I have no friends in the world and have lost all my friends in the congregation. The only thing that prepared me for this is the fact that when I was at school I was 'billy-no-mates', nobody wanted to associate with a JW and I spent all my time being on my own. I was the centre of all the ridicule and as a teenager this was very, very hard to handle. At that time also I wasnt included in much in the congregation either or in my family because my family were not in the truth either, I was really alone.
This does live with you for a long time but fortunately now I have a caring wife and a family of my own. I find that with the experiences I had as a youngster at school I do not need a circle of friends and have adapted to a life with, or without friends. You will make some friends on this board that you will accept you for the person that you are, without the conditions that the JWs attach to friendship.
I wish you luck and I hope that the knowledge that others have gone through and are going through exactly the same thing as you will give you encouragement that you can cope.
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Nicolas
Thanks for your advice, it's really encouraging to see that I'm not alone with this problem. Also, some person of my family (cousin, uncle) are beginning to see that this religion isn't the truth, I really hope that they'll finally go out of the org.