I have faded these past few months and as of lately the witnesses keep bugging me at least once a week. ..coming to my house ''sneak attacks'' I havent been home and also they have been leaving messages on my phone.I'm afraid they are gonna set up a meeting for me to come to the hall for an explanation.What should I do if that happens? I don't want to have anything more to do with them. Do I have to go if they call me in? I have not done anything wrong.Just trying to fade quietly. This is a little scary.
Witnesses and their Sneak Attacks
by justice for all 9 Replies latest jw friends
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misspeaches
Justice for all! WELCOME!
You poor thing I know how scary that can be. You just want to distance yourself. When I found out elders had turned up on my doorstep when I wasn't home I freaked out. I almost had a panic attack over it. Then when they called me on the phone I was equally as upset by it.
Eventually I took one of the phone calls. The elder asked me if they could encourage me back to meetings. I politely but firmly told them thank you but it wasn't necessary. I had to repeat myself several times.
I never heard from the elders again. So I guess they just gave up on me after that. This approach may work for you too.
Don't let them intimidate you pet!
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Bonnie_Clyde
I think it was Henry Ford II who said, "Don't complain, and don't explain."
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Wasanelder Once
If you are fading quietly but were much loved by some, then they want to encourage you. If you are vocal and trashing the cong in some way, they are on an investigation. You know whether you are vocal or not. If you haven't done anything wrong and you are just fading, then tell them thanks but you'll see them at the meetings when you get there. Right now you are having some personal matters to sort out and you will let them know if they can help. Right now you're ok. Jehovah is actively leading you through your own personal study and you are not anxious because you know everything will work out. Your faith is still strong. Thanks, will talk later.... etc.
That should hold them off. Were you a Pioneer or some other invaluable member of the (cough, choke) congregation that they want to get you back?
I wish you success.
W.Once
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rebel8
Change your phone # and don't give out the new one. Put up a No Trespassing sign, which JWs are supposed to obey. Mark mail return to sender, addressee unknown. www.jwinfo.50megs.com
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Elsewhere
Just tell them you were never baptized!
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greendawn
If you just carry on fading they will leave you alone, as was the case with so many other faders, you just have to be firm and polite with them and they will stop trying to win you over. As long as they don't correct their problem areas they can't talk.
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TallTexan
Well, there are two types of congregations - the overachievers who will absolutely NOT let you fade quietly, or the lazy, disinterested congregations who are too wrapped up in one-upping each other and being holier-than-everyone to notice when someone has actually stopped coming to the meetings.
Sounds like you have a cong of over-achievers. I was fortunate enough to have a group of lazy, disinterested elders who never gave me a 2nd thought, even after I saw one of them outside of the KH and told them I really needed to talk to them. (Lots of care for the flock, though...right...)
You have two choices - spend the next few months/years avoiding them, afraid to answer the door/phone - or tell them you have decided to take a break and would like to not be bothered. If they ask why, tell them you are having some doubts and need some time for personal study and reflection and will get back to them at a later date. If they persist, either reiterate your statement, just in a firmer manner, or call the cops. :-)
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badboy
WHY NOT GET ARNIE ON YOUR SIDE!
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Bumble Bee
You could change your phone number, or get call display and don't answer if you see their number come up. Just let the machine take the call. I don't answer the door if I'm here alone, and we try and be out doing something on Saturday mornings (shopping etc).
If they keep missing you - eventually they will give up.
BB