Below is the letter I sent.
Dear Mom,
I have been wondering how I was going to respond to your letter. I had it set my mind that I was going to reply to each paragraph. It would basically be a defense letter to what you are trying to say. What I am saying is that you are my mother which I dearly love. With all of our faults I love you dad and Rick…no matter what. The “drifting was my decision and not your fault” It was a decision I made and not because it was something I wanted to do that the Society said no to.
I am heartbroken that you beat yourself up and point to different directions as to why this has happened. Grandma, Dad, Rick, or you had nothing to do with it. Grandma taught me how to bake Apple Pies and get to know who’s who in the congregations. Rick taught me that it sucks to be left being and for that I and very sorry. I could have been a better big brother. Dad…what can I say…the man can carry a whistle tune trough any type of traffic. Mom you have always been there up or down…when I injured or when I am celebrating. You were the one to keep me grounded and bring reality back to me. I am a people person just like you. I will always be that way.
I could blame some of my decisions on the congregation at the time. Again, what would it do? Would it change going to another congregation? It would not. There was so much fallout that you have no idea. If your conscience needs to be clear…then remember this…it was my decision and you need not blame yourself on bad parenting. As to the mistakes that we made because we were imperfect…Is that not the reason that
My actions at my last visit were sincere. I wanted to see Grandma and took Rick to lunch downtown. When has that ever happened? by ourselves for that fact. I saw 2 girls from school…so what! It was not my primary goal. It was to see you and dad. If my language was foul…why did you not say “Not in My House?” I thought that was petty. I did not think I was vulgar in anything I said. I am for sure Susan would have said something to me if anything.
Your letter…as I was reading…and to me it was that you were closing a chapter in your life and moving forward in what you believe in your heart. I encourage that wholeheartedly. You have moved on with the congregation family. As for my arms…they are still open to you, dad and Rick. As long as I am still breathing…my love for all of you will never cease to be.
As to the decisions that you have to make…I know the rules that the society has set. I don’t envy you or anybody that has to make those decisions with regards to family members. Do what your heart tells you to do.