guys, im deliriously happy that im nearly out.
my mind is now free of morbid, gloomy thoughts of the future. its a freedom that is indeed priceless.
i now feel less need to drink (although im having a beer to celebrate just now)!!
I have been for some time atheist, i doubt it will ever change. when we had our 2 kids i just about had a breakdown over how much i loved them and still do. i thought `how can a loving god allow such bad things to happen to children` - the reasoning book maintains that god doesnt cause such things, but i feel if there was one, he couldnt so much as glance at what is going on, without acting.
other troubling thoughts - `what if my children needed a blood transfusion?` `how come all the good/human people keep leaving the truth?` `why does god require me to knacker myself going to meetings, f/s etc but tell me that his comands are not burdensome?`
but now....
its all gone, and what a relief. a bright future ahead for my beutiful, honest, loving family.
thanks for your ears and those who have helped me out over the past 2-3 days. all of this concludes a fight i have had for some 6 years (for 4 i believed). a decade wasted (apart from my lovely wife and 2 adored children)
j