Should farting be a DF'able offence?
Yes, if the farts are stinky and the noxious gases are released in the presence of others. The Bible says: "You must love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:39) Like smoking, such farts do not show love of one's neighbor and open up one's mind to demonic influence.
Should farting only be OK for consenting adults in private?
A fart is a mixture of gasses, mostly carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. Hydrogen and methane are highly flammable. The Bible says of Jehovah God: "With you is the source of life." (Psalm 36:9) So life is a divine gift. Consequently, we have no right to take that gift away from anyone or to show disrespect for life, including, of course, our own.—Genesis 9:5, 6.
In ancient Israel, safety was a high priority in all aspects of life. For example, when a house was built, God's Law required that its roof—a place of considerable family activity—have a parapet. "You must also make a parapet for your roof, that you may not place bloodguilt upon your house because someone . . . might fall from it." (Deuteronomy 22:8) If someone fell because this safety law had not been observed, God held the owner responsible. Application of the loving principle embodied in this law would move true Christians to abstain from the unnecessary risks associated with farting.
What about young Bethel boys who have been know to darken a room so that their farts can be clearly observed once they have been lit, are they exhibitionists?
If the farts have been privately tested and shown to have only fractions of flammable gases and are odorless, such an activity is a matter of conscience. "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
Should farting be an all-male event from which sisters are excluded, and why are girlie farts so awful?
Again, if the farts have been privately tested and shown to have only fractions of flammable gases and are odorless, such an activity is a matter of conscience. Sisters may expel such farts in the presence of brothers if they don a head covering while doing so.
As was stated in The Watchtower, 12/15 1961, p. 767,
(see http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=4556&site=3#54080 )
we can learn about nature and sex and farts from the bovine family of mammals, both wild and tame.
Large herds of cattle, both male and female, wander over the plains feeding. The female of the species naturally craves more gas producing foods like cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, bran, beans, broccoli and cabbage to be in top condition to attract a male willing to engage in the breeding act. Afterwards she is contented and relaxed, and the end result is a fart.
Do farts smell purely for the benefit of the deaf?
What a loving provision from Jehovah to take into consideration the needs of ones disabled by the wages of man's sinful tendencies! We look forward to the time when the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped and the eyes of the blind shall be opened.
Will there be farting after Armageddon?
Yes. Isaiah 65:25 says, "The wolf and lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent's food. They will neither harm nor destroy..." With no carnivores and more herbivores, there will actually be more farting after Armageddon. What a blessing from Jehovah!
Do the Anointed ones fart in Heaven?
Anointed ones follow the example of their Heavenly Farter.
Betty Bowers answers this question beautifully from her Louis Quinze desk:
Dear Ms. Bowers:We are taught that we are created in God's image. Does this mean that God is just like us? If so, does this mean that God breaks wind?
Wondering in Wichita Falls
Dear Wondering:
The Ladies of Landover Baptist's "Dawn Bible Study" yesterday involved a rather hot-tempered discussion about the Lord's Blessed Flatulence. We all know from Isaiah 16:11 that God's Flatulence sound like "harps." While we had some disagreement about whether it is an actual song or just random notes, we agreed to disagree, with most of us leaning heavily in favor of a little snippet from the, pardon the expression, third movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
Where we really broke into very heated disagreement was over the actual aroma of this Heavenly Flatulence. Regrettably, there is no guidance in the Bible in this regard. Sister Taffy is absolutely adamant that the Winds on High smell like fresh-baked pineapple upside-down cake. But I'm not so sure. I am quite certain, however, that Sister Suzzanna Beth's suggestion that it smells like Elizabeth Taylor's Black Diamonds is completely misguided. In the end, we compromised by deciding that the Lord's Fumes most likely evoke a rather musky potpourri aroma that would be rather oppressive on humid days.
So Close To Jesus That Communion Is Like Leftovers,
Betty Bowers
from http://www.bettybowers.com/index.html
Did the early congregation fart as much as JW's do today? If not, does this mean that JW's are not the right religion?
Scholars diverge in their opinions on the amount of farting done by the first century congregation, so it is difficult to compare. However, the measure flowing into the toilets of Jehovah's chosen people has been a fine one, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing, a tangible sign of heavenly approval.
Sister Ginny
P.S. Englishman, please give my warm regards to her Ladyship and your sons, Holiday Inn, Bike Shed, and Front Room Carpet.
