Judgmentalism

by BugEye 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  BugEye

  People are judgmental, this is a fact.

  In fact it is a human quality that allows people to grow and become better throughout there lives. We judge what happens and log it away for future use. Often times these things are so subconscious that an automatic trigger forms and we simply react to a new situation based upon “something inside” which tells us what is happening.

  If we get burned by a hotplate, then forever we judge hotplates to be at least somewhat of a danger to our skin. After a car accident at a particular intersection, we will for a long time judge that intersection as a hazard.

  This is GOOD!

  Where judgmentalism becomes a problem is in reference to other people. The problem here is that unlike a hotplate or a needle or a particular area, no two people are EVER the same!

  Human beings rarely do anything with a simple, single motive. Unless we do something out of pure instinct and extremely rapidly, we have time to think and our motivations become complex.

  When we judge others, what we are saying is not that they have done something wrong, but that we know there thinking processes and we can predict from that what they will do again. But we cannot.

  None of us are proficient enough mind readers to be able to judge each motive, its strength and at what times those motives will occur again.

  Whilst we can make generalisations and these can serve to protect us and our families, if not kept in check, these can seriously impair our growth as people.

  Judgmental people always believe that they are not being judgmental. However a simple test is this.

  If you feel that you understand their motives and that you are pretty sure you know what they will do in any circumstances, you had better have more than one reference to go by.

  As an example, if a young boy starts a fire, do you judge him to be a pyromaniac and do you refer to him as such? If so you are reinforcing an opinion upon him and he will likely live up to that expectation, especially if you are his parent. If however he has done it several times, then your generalisation of HIM as a “pyromaniac” may be correct.

  BUT, if you then see another child behave in a similar way and start one fire, you are being negatively judgmental to assume that he too is a “pyromaniac”. This is when judgmentalism becomes serious enough to impair YOU!

  BugEye
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  teejay

  BugEye,

  Two points and then a question.

  Stereotype. I think that is a better word than judgmentalism. See one kid start a fire and make a mental leap in assuming he has a problem and all others who start fires are just like the first kid.

  First impressions. Allowing the mind to project... to reach conclusions about people based on that first impression or limited contact. It's been proven that people's first impressions are a bitch to overcome. We humans typically look for evidence to support our first impressions, even if they are wrong. We 'find' evidence making our first impressions correct while ignoring equally valid evidence that proves our 'judgments' wrong.

  Basically, the thrust of your post can be summed up when you said, "no two people are EVER the same" and further, that even when dealing with one person, their motives cannot always be clearly known. Real error occurs when we think we can.

  Now, the question: You'd think that people older than, say, 18yrs of age, should have figured this all out. Too many give evidence of NOT having figured this out. Why is that?

  tj
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  BugEye

  Hello TJ

  Now, the question: You'd think that people older than, say, 18yrs of age, should have figured this all out. Too many give evidence of NOT having figured this out. Why is that?

  My point exactly.

  Btw, I used the word judgmentalism simply because it is a word most often bandied around in this forum.

  BugEye
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  SEAKEN2001

  tj said

  <Now, the question: You'd think that people older than, say, 18yrs of age, should have figured this all out. Too many give evidence of NOT having figured this out. Why is that?>

  Well, I do not have a definitive answer but I will posit an opinion.

  I think it's because it is the easier course in life to reject what is not understood than to accept your own ignorance. Parents pass this on to children and it self perpetuates. Only a few people break out and stop repeating the same mistakes passed on to them. But then it's up to their children to either accept or reject their parents view or not. Most end up adopting the "common" or popular attitudes, which are the "easier" attitudes to make their own. It's hard not to give in to careless judging. It takes concerted effort and deep love. It requires you to put yourself aside and accept what you are tempted to reject. The majority do not choose that path. Thus the propensity in the masses to be carelessly judgmental and stereotypical.

  Sean
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  waiting

  Howdy,

  Good discussion. I believe most people - if not all - are judgemental. I think some religious people believe it's their right to judge others - because God's closer to them.

  "He'll burn in Hell for all his sins."
  "He may fool the elders - but he can't fool Jehovah."

  Same difference - we and God know what a dispicable sinner that man is - and we're going to tell everyone who'll listen exactly what that sin is, btw.

  Way back when, if a girl had "gone all the way" and word got out - that one act (or many) would follow her around her whole life. A man I knew told my mother about another woman in her 50's - she's a slut, she slept around in hs." Like that mattered 35 years later.

  I think one reason persons are so judgemental is that it give the person power over the other judged person. He's better than that person.

  I also think truly secure people (not dependant on money, prestige, looks) don't tend to judge as quickly as others - they allow more room for variance.

  Perhaps that's the human nature growth being referred to?

  waiting
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  MadApostate

  I don't have the mental energy this morning to think deepy on this subject, but can't help but throw out some observations.

  JWs are no different from all other
  "christian/bible" base groups, in that judging others is an engrained trait enjoyed for all. WHY? The Bible is just one long series of judgments. Rules are made by God and/or men. People disobey. People are judged. Even JC, who taught his followers to not judge les they be judged, constantly went around judging people.

  Many moons ago, I had a conversation after the Sunday meeting with a newly baptized male pub who had spent all day Sat out in FS with a van load of elders and mss. He was visibly shaken from the experience. He indicated that the elders and mss spent every spare minute of the day criticizing the other JWs in the cong who did not meet their various expectations. The newbie also picked up on the fact that none of the JWs being criticized were related to any of the ones doing the criticizing. The newbie was especially shaken by the criticism heaped on an inactive male who the elders called on via a shearding call. I remember the newbie saying that the carload had talked about this man "like he was a dog", and then stopped to offer him "spiritual assistance". The newbie noted that the elders came back to the van indicating that they had made no progress, and continued to degrade the man. The newbie commented that how could their "assistance" possibly have been effective considering the attitudes that they carried into the session.
  This newbie faded away in less than a year thereafter, despite regular and continuous sheparding calls from the same bunch of elders.

  Do you suppose their "assistance" was ineffective because that newbie figured they were likely talking about him the same way they had the other guy?