I lived in a situation much like yours for a number of years.
A direct attack on your JW spouse's beliefs may or may not work. Most likely it won't. Think. When you were a loyal JW and somebody attacked your beliefs, how did you react? A lot of JW spouses react with fear and anger when their mate leaves the Watchtower. It's totally understandable. It's the way you would react if you still believed it was the truth AND the stability of your life as you know it is upended.
Try a different tact. Make them do all the work of proving to you the JWs are the truth. All you do is ask questions, show them information, and ask "What do you think?" Don't TELL your JW spouse comments like "This religion is a cult" or "this 1914 doctrine is BULLSHIT!!!!" and then listing your proof. This doesn't work. You're already making a big statement by not going to the meetings nor participating in field service. Asking questions begins training the JW mind in something it's not used to doing, using logical thought to determine what really is truth, rather than being spoon-fed by a bunch of religious gangsters in New York who long ago traded truth and love of God for organizational stability and power. Be patient. It may take a long time. Maybe years. You have to ask yourself, is it worth the time and energy, the drain on your emotions, the risk of knowing it may but very well may not result in your spouse leaving the JWs. Only you can answer that question.
I work around lawyers and I was influenced to take their argumentative style to my JW spouse and debate doctrine to the death. It turned our marriage into a battle of wills in our case. Not only was my wife terrified at the idea of renouncing what she believed was the truth, but she resented strongly that I took our comfortable, tidy little life and totally turned it upside down. She wasn't ready to question the Watchtower to the degree I was. She wasn't willing to entertain the thought she would lose her family (who she was very close to, especially her mother) and all of her friends. It was too frightening for her.
I can empathize with the above poster about feeling hate. I'd say I felt rage. It was all encompassing. I haven't felt such hate to the intensity I did then. I wanted to break some Governing Body kneecaps and listen to them scream. I mean, how dare they lie to millions of people like me and foster upon them truckloads of guilt and fear meeting after meeting just so they can pretend to be God's elect. The Governing Body KNOW they are lying about a number of things and the injustice of it all infuriated me. Not only that, now the people I cared about the most were fixing to be torn from me in short order never to be seen again. That's a lot on anybody's plate and trying to think above the emotions you are feeling can be difficult.
I've spoken with a number of JWs over the years since I first left. Being friendly, remembering that they are exactly what you used to be, and simply asking questions and having a friendly discussion goes a long way to unlocking the JW mind. I've seen it with my JW brother and other JWs who have knocked on my door. The last time I spoke with two JW elders who came to invite me back to the kingdom hall, my new tactic of simply asking questions and being friendly left them embarrassed and having difficulty speaking. It was rather pitiful watching them. And I used to be just like them.
