New Workplace Vocabulary 2006

by blondie 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • blondie
    blondie

    NEW WORDS IN 2006 -- Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

    BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
    was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
    on everything, and then leaves.

    ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
    advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than by working hard.

    SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
    only to get screwed and die in the end.

    CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

    PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
    cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

    MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
    potato.

    SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. (What
    yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
    working to stay home with the kids.)

    STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
    whiny.

    SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
    the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

    IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but
    you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nicole show or
    the Bachelor is a prime example.

    PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
    electronic device to get it to work again.

    ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
    the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
    profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
    designed to solve.

    404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
    "404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's

    brain, could not be located.)

    GENERICA: Features of the North American landscape that are exactly
    the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
    subdivisions.

    OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
    you've just made a BIG mistake.

    WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

    CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube
    farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust. Leads to PRAIRIE
    DOGGING.

  • daystar
    daystar

    AAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAA!!!

    Fantabulous!

  • Bstndance
    Bstndance
    STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

    whiny.

    OMG we have so many of these at my office.

  • blondie
    blondie

    This was my day.

    BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline

    was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    Those were great! Thanks Blondie!

    GGG

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