Religious funnies!

by Got Milf? 7 Replies latest social humour

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  Got Milf?

  One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, the townspeople were in church, listening to the organ play. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

  Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
  "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried,
  "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years!"
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  Dune

  Lol, that was actually good.
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  Got Milf?

  Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied "heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!"
  
  The nun said "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers "She has the constipation's."
  
  The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave.
  
  A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation's!"
  
  One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will sh*t when she sees us!"
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  Got Milf?

  Another NUN joke

  Two Irish Nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat. One nun says to the other "I heard that the occupants of this country eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America we might as well do as Americans do." So both Nuns walk towards a hot dog vendor. "Two Dogs, please," says the first Nun. The vendor is only too happy to oblige, and wraps 2 hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs". The first Nun opens hers and stares at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun cautiously asks, "What part of the dog did you get?"
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  Got Milf?

  Ok Ok Ok, I swear this is the last one for today, but I couldnt resist!!!

  First In Heaven

  Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
  
  One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
  
  The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."
  
  "Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this". "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?". Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
  
  He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down."
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  misspeaches

  Got Milf? They are very funny! Thanks for sharing
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  delilah

  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......cute, Milf.
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  xjwms

  What part of the dog did you get?

  LOL

  too funny.....I'll tell that one soon.