by Esmeralda 5 Replies latest jw friends
Now up on the web: the first part of the story of the way my family reacted to my father's near death medical emergency and how the blood issue factored in.
I'm hoping to get the second installment done this weekend and up by Monday evening.
: http://www.wtsurvivors.homestead.com/Sky.html
*hugs*
essie
Esmeralda.... I have just finished reading your account and I have had tears in my eyes and a shiver down my spine. I have lived through the experience of that telephone call, a mother in panic on the other end, hardly able to get the words out.. ' Dads been rushed to hospital, meet me there.' No explanation, no hint of what was wrong, expecting the worst but hoping for the best. And then getting to hospital to be told that Dad is in the intensive care unit, not responding, pupils fixed and dilated, ventilator breathing for him, pipes, tubes and wires everywhere - hard to know where to stand... And then to be told that he has had a brain haemorrhage, the worst one they had ever experienced, a brain stem one, the worst kind. To sit beside him and watch the hours tick by, knowing that they are only keeping the machines on so as to let the family come and pay their last respects. Five days. Five days of watching his chest go up and down, watching his temperature go up and up as his body fights a infection in his lungs... seeing him shudder but knowing that it is an involuntary movement and not one that he is consiously making. Feeling his hand tighten around yours but knowing all the time that this is not a hopeful sign, just a natural reflex. Watching his body jolt with the onset of hiccups - and not being able to do anything for him...
At least for him now his pain is over, my pain of losing him I carry around with me every day.
I look forward to the next installment of your story, I just hope it has a happier ending than mine Esmeralda.
(((((((((HUG))))))))))
Oh, I'm so sorry. I know that you know exactly how I felt when I got to the hospital. I won't make you wait to tell you that my story does indeed have a happier ending than yours did, we were so incredibly fortunate.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My dad is doing well now physically. Mentally is another thing. He is depressed because he is not able to do things the way he used to. He is facing shutting down his business, which he has had for 40 years. I am so grateful that he's alive, but don't know what to do for him to help him through this time of transition. Right now he looks so sad.
He doesn't remember most of what happened at the hospital. It's just as well. But those of us who were there will always bear some scars from this.
12 days into my Dad's ICU stay, my husband's mother nearly died. We had to go from one ICU in the middle of the night, to the airport, to another ICU in a different state. Total nightmare. We are lucky in that she survived as well, but she required massive amounts of blood. If she and my father had their conditions reversed, things would be totally different right now.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me, I just wish that I could give you a big hug and a cup of tea. Then I would ask you tell me about your Dad. It's apparant that you loved him very, very much. Again I am just so sorry that his life ended so tragically, and suddenly.
(((((HUGE HUGS))))))
essie
This may be very inappropriate to say, and I apologize in advance if so.
But you two are so very fortunate to have a sorrow or relief of life for a loved one. To have good memories, even if they're shadowed with pain now. The pain will subside in time. The love and memories can be cherished.
There are those among us who could only control ourselves to walk away without spitting on our dying fathers.
I know it's painful, but you do have a source of comfort in the love experienced. I'm sorry for your pain.
waiting
Hi waiting
I had a very turbulant relationship with my father up until three years ago. That is why I was so upset at the thought of losing him now, when we seemed to be getting it together.
I am grateful that I have good things to remember. I have many dear friends who, like you, had no reason to love their fathers. And damn good reasons not to.
I post my story not to get attention or for 'support'. I post it because how the blood issue factors in later on. How a parallel emergency in my husband's family at the same time also involved blood, and how the two families handled the situations. That's why I posted the link instead of the story here. That way if it doesn't interest someone, they can choose not to go to the link.
I hope the info might cause a lurker or two to think hard about leaving their medical decisions up to their relatives.
Sorry you had it rough. We all have problems and handle them the best that we can.
es
But you two are so very fortunate to have a sorrow or relief of life for a loved one. To have good memories, even if they're shadowed with pain now. The pain will subside in time. The love and memories can be cherished.
Waiting, I could not agree with you more.. I feel very fortunate that I have some fantastic memories and it is on these memories that I try to dwell. It is true that time does dull the pain but it never goes away completely, it would be foolish of me to think that it would ever disappear completely.
Esmeralda - I was so pleased to read that you had a rather happier ending, although I understand that you still have many hurdles to get over. I appreciate your kind words to me and would like to let you know that they mean a lot to me, especially the offer of a hug and a cup of tea! I think the circumstances of my fathers death were made all the more devastating because of the fact that he was only 41 when he died... not much of an age, yet he managed to fit more into his 41 years than most people fit into a lifetime. I only wish that he had been given the opportunity to live for another 41 years, who knows what he would have achieved.
I just find the human spirit to be amazing, that we can cope with these adversities and survive.
