Life...explained!

by upside/down 5 Replies latest social humour

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."

    So God agreed.

    On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

    The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

    And God agreed.

    On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years"

    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."

    And God agreed again.

    On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

    Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

    So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained.

    u/d

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i have seen the light! can i join the upside/down church? LOL

    good joke!

  • wombat
    wombat

    U/d...Sorry but that joke is not funny to me as an Australian..

    American humour all sounds like Readers Digest stuff (which I admit I enjoy).

    American humour seemingly always ends up as feel-good fuzzy stuff. It is rarely biting and as the great British humour from which Australians draws.

    Rarely does Australian and British humour need to draw on pathetic canned laughter on their TV shows.

    Okay... here's a good joke.....

    Scottish son writing home to mother..."These Australians are a funny lot. The bloke next door sobs all night and bangs on my wall. The chap on the other side screams obscenities at me continually throughout the night. But I don't mind. I just sit in my room and play my bagpipes.

    Or....

    First cattle drover.......I reckon I might go down to the city for the Show this year.

    Second cattle drover....Yeah..What route will you take?

    First cattle drover..........I reckon I'll take me Missus. She stuck by me during the drought.

    I reckon it's time for me to go to bed before u/d gets a chance to abuse me

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    Maybe that's why I love Monty Python...

    especially...Life of Brian..

    and who can forget ..."The Young Ones"...

    u/d(of the loves most forms of humor class)

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Hahahahahaha!

    Very funny

  • wombat
    wombat

    u/d...Like when Rik Myall was pinned to the ground and got a heavy kick in the balls. He responded to the attacker by laughing and saying that he had missed both knees.

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