I had an experience yesterday that I have thought about all day. I was with my son in law and two granddaughters, it was a beautiful afternoon, and we took the girls out for a walk. We were having a great time, we stopped by some public restrooms, standing outside of them, my son in law bent down to tie the babys shoe, and my oldest grandaughter was standing by me. Two women walked by us, the elderly woman glared at us, the younger woman bumped into my oldest grandaughter, stopped, and screamed into her face,
"watch it, you stupid little girl!" I was enraged, that adrenlin rush you feel when a car almost hits you. I screamed, "hey you bitch!". They kept on walking. My son in law stood up, I thought he was going to be upset at me for using the "B" word in front of the kids. He had heard the whole thing, he was enraged, we stood and looked at each other, we were about to go beat the living crap out of that lady. We stood shaking, and just shook it off. I leaned down to my granddaughter and said, that was not a nice lady, you did nothing. Her lower lip trembling, her eyes filling with tears, she said, "I know ".
My son in law has never been in " the truth ". I was raised in it. Our reaction was the same. Except my mindset a couple of years ago would of been that of I couldn't wait until armageddon came, to walk on that womans bones.
Is that what kept me going all those years? Knowing I could pick out every person who crossed "my boundries", crossed me in the wrong way, didn't listen to my view point on how to live their lives, they would be destroyed, and what a joyous fantasy that was to me. Now my reality is, I have to live in a world full of people with different life styles, out looks, mental stability and religious beliefs. I can choose my friends by how they treat me, if I feel good around them, and they add something to my life and exsistence, and not because we are in the same mind controlling belief system.
What freedom! What terror! And what an opportunity! To start fresh and new. I don't have to judge, I just have to live. I will be hurt, I can survive. I can't fathom being hurt as much as I have been in the organization, but if I am, I can handle that too. I learned yesterday, what I knew all along, to shake off the dust from my feet, and move on.
I wish you all peace, happiness, and as much joy as we can create for ourselves in this life. That is the goal I have set for myself.
Let It Be
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.
And when the night is cloudy,
There is a light that shines on me,
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music,
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be