I think its all about the following:
1) Circumstances
2) Vibes
3) Follow-ups
Circumstances, rely on fate and the current situation. Its more of a luck game of just being there at the right time. You'll have to put yourself out there, making yourself available, to be there at the right time in the first place.
Vibes, are the language, bodily and verbally, that you give off. You'll want to not come out as being desperate, but calm and relaxed.
Follow-ups, are the actions you take in response to hers. This is vital if you want redundancy.
If those 3 are right then you're good to go. Often, I find the reason I'm not getting any is one of these factors are missing.
For example, I joined a college club and I saw this girl. First thing, I had a crush for her. I found out she had a boyfriend, but still I pursued her. I got to know her better eventually, and she seemed pretty cool. I noticed the signals from her, lots of complimenting on my looks, and some suggestions from her bestfriend.
Eventually I found out she broke up with her boyfriend and she needed a date for her senior formal. I'm just a freshman, but I decided to call her up and casually work my way to asking her if I could go with her. She said she was going to go with some friends, but she'll keep me posted. In the end, she's going with her friends. And I'm not pursueing her anymore. I've forced myself to get rid of this stupid crush. Add to that, she's moving to Africa after she graduates.
I see elements of circumstance and follow-up are missing.
Another example, when I was living at home, I was helping a buddy with a girl he liked. I happened to meet this girl at a party before hand. I talked to her, and she was opposite of me. She was new, so I told her I'd show her around town. I got her number, but I called her once and she didn't answer. So I didn't call her again.
I had no feelings for her, so it was a good situation to help my buddy. I told him to tell her how he feels for her at the dance, well I show up at the dance to cheer him on, only to find out he missed that chance because he waited.
Well, my dad invited her family to my house, and me and her were up in my bedroom, just hanging out. We both play guitar, and she just loved my long hair. I just felt the vibe that she wanted me. She was feeling up on my muscles and putting her legs under me. But her little sister was there. So she invited me out for lunch the next day. I follow-up on that, and there at lunch she scoots close to me and starts rubbing up on me. On short notice, she found out she had to move back home out of state at the end of the week.
I see the elements of circumstance being off.
In conclusion, fate blows. I hate fate, and I hate waiting.
Am I right on this or what?
Can you critique me on the past pursuits? I'd appreciate it...could learn a thing or two.
Finding that one true love? Am I learning anything...
by tsunami_rid3r 3 Replies latest jw friends
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tsunami_rid3r
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What-A-Coincidence
dang! you are 18! You got plenty of time.
http://www.coping.org/growth/patient.htm <<< not insulting or anything like that, but some thoughts to ponder over
http://www.marsvenus.com/ <<<< This book has been read/used by Bethel Elders.
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish"
then again - u know if you are ready more than anyone else. I am sure other posters will give you great advice.
happy searching!
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serendipity
Hi tsunami,
I want to echo WAC's remarks. You're only 18 and these things take time. I would to emphasize that it's important to show interest in a girl you're attracted to. A lot of girls, especially the shyer ones, will not approach or pursue a guy. It's up to the guys to pursue. However, you want to act interested, not desperate.
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bikerchic
Often, I find the reason I'm not getting any is one of these factors are missing.
You might want to change your focus on getting any to actually developing a friendship with a girl and acting in an honorable way toward her. Girls know when they are being played/used and abused. Good thing is so far you've seemed to find such girls, just change your focus and give them a real chance at getting to know the real you. Yes YOU have to be vulnerable too.
Can you critique me on the past pursuits? I'd appreciate it...could learn a thing or two.
I just did above, however I would like to critique you on what I see as some growth in you. When you first started posting here you were very needy and desperate, I'm glad to see you using analyzing things a bit more in writing, tells me it will eventually sink into your noggin.
Good to see you back here tsuami.