Going to Cali...

by mrsjones5 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  mrsjones5

  Yesterday I was conducting interviews with my team leader (I'm a Mary Kay consultant) and one of the persons we interviewed was my mother. My team leader, Tiffany, asked my mother if being a consultant was something that she wanted to do. My mother replied that at this moment she did not have the time to do so because of family obligations and becasue she was working on building her faith (not the way she actually said it but if you've ever been on the inside I'd bet you could imagine what she said).

  So I sit here and ponder how I have to interact with my mother and father (from what I hear from my mom dad has a personal book study with one of the elders going on). Early June my family will hop on a plane out to California for 2 fun filled weeks. We will be staying with my parents. If I could afford to I would stay elsewhere but they really want to see the kids. I know for those 2 weeks I will be walking on eggshells. I don't want to talk about religious matters with my parents...don't see a point to it, but I know that during sometime in those two weeks one of my parents or both will want to talk about it. And they will feel every right to do so since it's their home but I just don't want to go there. I am willing to not talk about my beliefs to keep the peace and be respectful towards my parents beliefs but I'm so sure it's gonna be onesided. Hopefully just having my husband, my kids, and my sister and brother (who are not jws too) there will deflect some of what is going to happen.

  I'm going to wear my pretty little pink cross, keep a stiff upper lip, and pray.

  Josie
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  LittleToe

  Try not to stress and play it by ear. Often it isn't half as bad as we anticipate

  Good luck!
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  delilah

  I don't want to talk about religious matters with my parents...don't see a point to it, but I know that during sometime in those two weeks one of my parents or both will want to talk about it.

  Mrs.Jones, I know how you feel. We just went to my mom's for the easter weekend, and yes, this did happen. My dad asked me if we would go to the KH with them, just for an hour, but when I said, "No", he said, "So, you're going to die at armageddon then?" I began to tell him,"No, I do not subscribe to that viewpoint anymore," when he cut me off and said it again. To my surprise, my mom stuck up for me, and said," Jehovah knows the heart, don't you be judging". I was gobsmacked, to say the least, and from there, I took the opportunity to ask subtle questions about the whole "truth" thing. I really wanted to spout what I've learned from the CoC book, but I must be careful, and move slowly on this. It was a great conversation that my mom and I had. So, maybe it won't be so bad when you visit your folks in the summer...wishing you the best, for a really nice, quiet visit.
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  bikerchic

  oh yay! Have fun in Cali!

  I don't want to talk about religious matters with my parents...don't see a point to it, but I know that during sometime in those two weeks one of my parents or both will want to talk about it.

  Nip it in the bud the very first time they bring up religion. Politely say something along the lines of how you respect their religious views and since they differ from yours let's not talk religion. Every time they bring it up (and they will) parrot the same thing until you become a broken record.

  If they press the issue, leave the room, the house, the city for a while go have fun! I'm sure by the time you come back every thing will be fine and they'll eventually get the point.

  Time to be stronger than their crumby cult!
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  juni

  You're an intelligent and strong person, Josie. I know you will handle things good. Like someone else said here: Don't stress out about all of it.

  You know what they say: Don't talk about religion or politics. You set your boundaries and let them know you're there to have a nice visit and a lot of fun.

  Have a good time in June.

  Juni
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  mrsjones5

  Thanks for all of your replies. I will try not to focus on the negative and I think the idea of setting boundries up front is a good idea. I want this to be a good visit with the least stress as possible for my family.

  Josie
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  luna2

  Good luck, mrsj! Good advice on the boundries. Hope it works for you. Have as good a time as you can out there.
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  looking_glass

  when I first started fading my mom would try to do the soft sell but I think she got tired after a while. Now all she does is tell me her stories but she does not lecture me or make me feel bad. Who knows, maybe your folks will do the same. If you let them tell you their stories but not let them "preach" to you, it migh make a happy medium where all can live in peace.