JW Parents - Madness

by looking_glass 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    Okay, as I have said in the past my mom is normally a great mom. No worries, no probs. This morning was a different story. We have a don't ask don't tell policy in our family. I moved away from my family in order to have them not know that I am not an active JW and that I have BF, yada, yada, yada. I am sure my mother knows but never says anything. This system works for us. I let her tell me her stories - always JW stuff and I just sit and listen, usually about 10 minutes top and then we move on to other things.

    So this morning I am talking to her on the phone because she is not in good health. I am checking up on her and she says

    Mom: you know your nephew is getting baptized

    Me: yes, i think it already happened

    Mom: well you know why he is doing it don't you?

    Me: No, because he wants to be a JW right

    Mom: No, because he wants something out of me

    Me: WHAT!!!

    Mom: Well I am not going to fall for the whole I am so spiritual and all that because you know he leads a double life.

    Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

    Mom: Well you know he and that other JW kid got into trouble and were stopped by the police

    Me: Ya, for riding motorized dirt bikes on the public streets. They were fined and he has to pay the fine himself. What's the big deal.

    Mom: That is [here it comes people, and i was about to blow] A REPROACH UPON JEHOVAH'S NAME.

    Needless to say, the conversation then became very heated. And I came out and said to her finally "this is the crap that I will no longer put up with. I was a good kid growing up but JWs don't believe you can be good and still make mistakes. You are damned from the beginning." And here is the reason I don't get angry because I said some things that I will have to explain why I said it ... "You are a nasty spiteful JW. I will not live under a policing society and you should be ashamed of yourself. YOU ARE A REPROACH TO JEHOVAH. How dare you judge another human being, especially your grandson. You better get your head out of your @$$ otherwise one day you are going to find you are knee deep in $hit and no where to go."

    Though to my mother's credit, she got quiet, changed the subject and said to me "do you really think I do that". HELL YEAH. The problem is that she will then discuss this with her fellow whackjobs JWs and they will agree with her and then she will revert to her "I am right and L_G is wrong" thinking.

    I don't care that my mom is a JW, to each their own, but do not AND I MEAN DO NOT try and project evilness onto my nephew. He is a great kid. He is going to make mistakes but he learns from them and he is not mean spirited. It is never enough though for JWs, there is never enough that you can do, you should always be doing more, being better, more spiritual.

    Okay, done venting. My GF (faded JW) was not answering her phone ... darn teacher that she is, refusing to answer the phone in her room during her school day. So I needed to vent to other people who would understand. Thanks for letting me vent. I do feel much better. And on that note, have a great day.

  • LDH
    LDH

    Yes, you are right. This was a minor hiccup on the road to growing up. The important thing is that NO ONE was hurt.

    The JW do not allow normal development to occur; every move you make is microscoped. It's no wonder so many JW kids are frustrated.

    This was great to hear you say you openly disagreed with her. The JW do not live in a world where people are allowed to openly express their opinion for fear of reprisal.

    Lisa

  • unique1
    unique1

    Whoa, you sure we aren't sisters? My mother is the same way. Always sitting in judgement of others. I have tried to remind her that only God is the judge but this doesn't go over well. She just says "well God tells us right and wrong in the bible and if you go against it you are bad." The whole thing is they aren't usually talking about something that is scripturally wrong, just something the society says is wrong. All I can say is, You are NOT ALONE!!! I always just thought my mom was crazy, but on second thought, maybe it is just a JW thing.

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    It seems that she is getting worse with age. Because when we were growing up, she knew we pulled pranks and would stick up for us. She would tell the elders to back off - kids will be kids.

    My mother is a short hot headed Irish chick. I even remember one time, at the BS, she did not understand something and she asked the question, the BSC said we will address that after the study. Afterwards she was pulled aside and told NEVER to do that again. She thought about it for a while and then when she was at the Hall on Sunday, she went up to the elder who scolded her and she grabbed a couple of other elders and said "don't you ever tell me I am not allowed to question something ever again. If I do something "wrong" you had better back it up with a clear cut scripture or you better back off" She was never bothered again. Granted she never raised her hand and asked a question again either.

    But WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT LADY. I keep wondering if it is because she is getting old and she is afraid that if she appears to be less then a JW they will turn their back on her and this is ALL SHE HAS. It is so disheartening.

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    Hugs to you Looking Glass!

    I think JW's don't understand normal behavior and that people make mistakes...unless its the governing body, then they of course are super forgiving.

    Boys will be boys and boys love to play with big loud toys.

    When my husband was younger, he drove his dirtbike all over the school field because it was fun and open. Is he evil?

    Nope, goes to work each day, works hard for me and the boys and is very moral...

    People are impulse driven, unless they are so controlled they just can't even think for themselves.

    Best Regards,

    Chrystal

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