Parents of Jehovah's Witnesses

by Grunt 7 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Grunt

  To Richie and any other parent of a Jehovah's Witness who has been hurt by their child.
  Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for the pain this cult and your brainwashed child have caused you. There is no "balm in Gilead" to offer but I can identify as my daughter is about the same. I was never df'd or da'd but the results are very similar. I have been asked not to call, not to e-mail and not to visit. Yet when we do see her at family functions such as weddings she acts "normal." At least according to Watch Tower Norms. Plastic smiles and shallow conversations. Richie, I am glad your daughter had a child, as that child will probably want to get to know you and will probably rebel against the cult, if it goes the way of most Watch Tower Cult raised children. Consider this post from Maximus:

  "The October 1 Watchtower 2001 features articles on training children "properly" and dealing with a "prodigal child."
  The latest inside U.S. figures reveal that 86% of JW children leave the fold, with some 29% who eventually come back for reasons of family ties, most never "reaching out." That means over HALF leave permanently. These figures have been virtually the same for a number of years now. Well known is the fact that many kids lead a double life; that is, they put on a Witness face while attempting to live more normally away from scrutiny.

  In its usual truthful fashion, the Watchtower says: "There are hundreds of thousands of young ones who serve Jehovah happily ... Why, then, do other young ones leave?" Uh, that's over eight out of ten, remember? "

  So the kids are seeing through the crap better than the parents. Happily many of them leave also. Don't give up hope. I haven't. As time passes maybe your child will see things as they really are. They do read the bible and most of the bible goes against much of what they do, so there is always the chance the scriptures themselves will help.

  Any fool can see that they teach a "different Gospel" so Galatians chapter one might kick in:

  "6 I marvel that YOU are being so quickly removed from the One who called YOU with Christ's undeserved kindness over to another sort of good news. 7 But it is not another; only there are certain ones who are causing YOU trouble and wanting to pervert the good news about the Christ. 8 However, even if we or an angel out of heaven were to declare to YOU as good news something beyond what we declared to YOU as good news, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said above, I also now say again, Whoever it is that is declaring to YOU as good news something beyond what YOU accepted, let him be accursed.

  Any honest person can see that Jehovah's Witness children are not "honoring" thier parents so that too could cause a moment of clarity. They might pay attention as they read Matthew chapter 15 where it says:

  "3 In reply he said to them: "Why is it YOU also overstep the commandment of God because of YOUR tradition? 4 For example, God said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'Let him that reviles father or mother end up in death.' 5 But YOU say, 'Whoever says to his father or mother: "Whatever I have by which you might get benefit from me is a gift dedicated to God," 6 he must not honor his father at all.' And so YOU have made the word of God invalid because of YOUR tradition. 7 YOU hypocrites, Isaiah aptly prophesied about YOU, when he said, 8 'This people honors me with their lips, yet their heart is far removed from me. 9 It is in vain that they keep worshipping me, because they teach commands of men as doctrines"

  Any honest person can see that the scripture at 1 Timothy 2 says Christ is the mediator for all men. Read it again please:

  "5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, a man, Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself a corresponding ransom for all"

  Now look at how completely contradicted that verse is by the Jehovah's Witness understanding so kindly explained to a reader in a Questions from readers in the Watch Tower by adding brackets to show what Jehovah REALLY meant:

  "w79 11/15 Benefiting from "One Mediator Between God and Man" p. 2620 What, then, is Christ’s role in this program of salvation? Paul proceeds to say: "There is one God, and one mediator between God and men [not, all men], a man Christ Jesus, who gave himself a corresponding ransom for all."—1 Tim. 2:5, 6."

  From all to [not, all] How smart do you have to be to see that? So, I keep on hoping. I don't think our children are fools, just selfish and brainwashed. Selfish enough to sell their families for a chance at "Life Eternal on Paradise Earth." Brainwashed enough to believe these con men and charlatans despite all the evidence of the past and the way they completely twist the scriptures they base their false promises on. I wish all of you and your families peace, harmony and freedom from this cult. I wish the same for my own.

  Your comrade in the war on lies,
• 

  Tina

  Morning Grunt,
  Thanks for sharing what ia painful life experience a la WTS,and for the insights into it!
  I too am not DA,Df and receive that treatment. Only diff is that my sister totally avoids me,will sit near me at functions and treat me as I am invisible.Not even a 'hello'.
  I'm kinda glad she does this. At every function all the non-Jw relatives can't help but commenting on such appalling behavior. She keeps more people out of the cult and from listening to the 'message' than I ever could.
  Wishing you the best always! Tina

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."
• 

  Richie

  Thank you so much for your post Grunt - it's amazing to hear that there are so many people who are not even DA-ed or DFd who are indirectly shunned just the same. In fact I was in a quandary the last 2 days whether I should return to the meetings and see if I could work toward being re-instated. That way I would be able "buy back" a measure of peace and acceptance by my family. Of course my plan was - after re-instatement - I would never return to any meetings anymore but still have a measure of "respect" by the witnesses enabling me to be viewed like the world in a sense but still part of their family and not be entirely cut-off.
  In another post yesterday I was questioning the possibility of returning to the Sunday meetings for future re-instatement; yet the replies I received were more than enough to convince me not to do that anymore! As they said it would be futile, not only would I have to go to all the meetings (including the bookstudy at the KH) as well as the assemblies before the elders could re-assess whether I am "worthy" enough. After much soul searching and going back and forth to the comments on this board I have come to the conclusion that it's not worth my time, my energy and my dignity to pretend for about 1 year (perhaps even longer - remember I was an elder before and as they say in WT-language: responsible for much and therefore be disciplined more seriously) before they would view me as a human being again. (I can't help but think of the prodigal son who returned to his father and yet his father accepted him back immediately - without disfellowshipping him afterwards....and what about the brothers of the prodigal son.., did they not have jealousy in their hearts?? They did not accept him back...boy, do those brothers of the prodigal son remind me of the Society!! )
  Upon reflecting what you all mentioned to help me in my decision what to do, I must say that you have enlighted me immeasurably.....
  I realize now that I will never be further ahead even if I were to be re-instated at a later date, for the reason that I could then speak and associate with my family again...
  Yes, it was bizarre to hear my own loving daughter declare to me that I was unwelcome to see her and her 16-month old son...She said it with such assertiveness as to prove to the Society that what she was doing was a loyal move on her part (I assumed that she may not have been alone in her home when she said that, but regardless of that, it was mentioned at her own initiative with her full faculties intact)
  I have 3 daughters; 2 of them and their spouses are JW's and the third, the youngest daughter who is not married yet, who does not go to the meetings anymore...I am just waiting for her to get a baby in the future and I will promise myself that her baby will be loved excessively by myself and I will do everything in my power to keep this future child from the hands of the bodysnatchers...
  Thanks my dearest friends for your advise on how to proceed from here on: I have decided to never go back to the meetings again; I just cannot let go of my deepest principles.....

  :*) Richie

  You are the music as long as the music last...............
• 

  waiting

  Hey Grunt,

  Fine post. I can't identify with you and Richie, as my children left before me. But I can certainly have empathy for all that you have lost - through no fault of your own. Give your wife a hug for me, ok?

  Hey Richie,

  There are sooooo many here who have serious family problems thanks to the WTBTS. They say in their official WT site that "disfellowshipping doesn't sever family ties." But the WTBTS twists, cuts, burns, bleeds, and crushes family ties.

  Sorry it happened to you.

  waiting
• 

  Grunt

  Hi Tina,
  I don't like to put up personal stuff, or talk about it really, but it is the only way to get any good out of a negative situation. I put it up so people like those who see your sister treating you in such an abnormal and cultish fashion can see what the Jehovah's Witnesses really believe. Talking about love is one thing, showing it is another. The fact is that shunning your parents or other family members would have made you repugnant to Jesus Christ and Jehovahs eyes back then as well as now. I think that scripture in Matthew 15 does a good job of pointing that out. I am so sorry that your sister has her head turned inside out, like so many cult members do including Richie's daughter and mine. If you took a poll of those on this board who have lost loved ones, not due to sin but due to not agreeing with the Society it would amaze and disgust you. There are so many and their situations are so much worse than mine. I still have my son and my parents and part of my extended family. There are those here who have lost it all. Have you read Snowball's page??? It is worth reading. Thank you for responding and I wish you well. As I said, so many fall away, between you, me and Richie, one of us at least will probably regain our loved one from normal attrition. I hope your sister wakes up soon. Making their behavior public might accelerate it a little. Back when my daughter was trying to completely shun me for disagreeing with the chronology and daring to say so to her, I called her at work. A co-worker answered the phone, and said so sweetly, "Hey, -----, it's your dad" and then talked to me for a while until my daughter came, a nice normal lady. When my daughter came on she talked perfectly normal and was so agreeable I thought the problem was solved. I was saying things like, "I am glad we are talking again" and "If my doubts bother you then let's not discuss it" that sort of thing and she was agreeing to it all. I told my wife it seemed she was over it and said we would just try to put it behind us. Then I called her at home and Wow, what a difference, said she had "had" to act like that because I called her at work. Once again, wow. She didn't want to appear "Cultish" as it would give a "Bad Witness" which is a pretty good indicator that deep inside she knows it is cultish. I couldn't believe it and also couldn't believe I had been so easily decieved. I guess we believe what we want to believe. I wanted to believe my kid still loved us and realized that it is just wrong not to visit or to allow visits by your parents or have any interaction with them. She wants to believe Jehovah is smiling down at her because she and the elders who advised her on her course are "correcting" us. She said in her letter to me, "such discipline is not easy." I imagine your sister sees her behavior as being "discipline" for you also. They don't see the insult and the disrespect, they are adding up the brownie points with Jehovah. Wow, yet again. The great irony is they are adding when it is really subtraction in every way.

  Richie, I never went back with any intention to stay, but used to always go back to Alabama for the Memorial with my mom and dad. I reached the point where I just couldn't do it. Being there sends a message that I approve and I can't send that message to anyone. I would never attempt to judge anyone else though and when it comes to holding a family together, that is a tough one. My kids are grown, and I had moved away and stopped attending when they were real young so I never had to face that problem. I always put my family first so I imagine if it meant my wife divorcing me and keeping the kids then I would have to go until they were raised, but I just don't know how I would handle it. The last time I was at a Kingdom Hall was last week and all I did was stick a fact sheet in the door with a little discussion on the false beliefs of the witnesses and a little advice at the bottom. I had hoped to catch some going out in service and get ahead of them so I could let them witness to me and I could put a few facts in their head, but as I was given a bad address I got there a little late and there was no one at the hall. They put stuff in the cracks of doors when people aren't home so I figured, why not? I have thought of calling them but figured they might report it as a nusiance call despite how polite I would be. I really do care for the individuals and want to help them real bad. To believe a lie with all your heart is a sad thing. Anyway, thanks for responding, I had first typed my post as an answer to yours and then figured it might hit more lurkers as a separate post. Any honest person, and a lot of the rank and file are honest, good people, and in their hearts can see what a farce it is to preach love to strangers and shun your own family when they have commited no sin except to disagree. I wish you and yours well.
• 

  Grunt

  Hi Waiting,
  I have been enjoying your posts as usual. I will pass the hug along and thanks for it, a good hug is always welcome.
• 

  Richie

  Just to satisfy my curiosity: after all what has happened, do you still attend the Memorial celebration meeting once a year?
  As for me, I have had enough and will not even attend the memorial anymore...

  :*) Richie

  You are the music as long as the music last...............
• 

  Grunt

  Nope.