An Afternoon with Sheldon Kennedy

by Uzzah 6 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  Uzzah

  I had the opportunity to spend the afternoon with Sheldon Kennedy. You may remember him best as teh NHL player that came forward about his being abused by his hockey coach. He played for Detroit ( best known as well as for the Bruins).

  He has partnered with the Red Cross in Canada and their Respect Ed program which is designed to address bullying and abuse of all kinds. A partnership was to be announced of a new online tutorial for coaches in prevention techiniques within youth sports.

  We spoke of his experience, his growth his fall backs, his self destructive behaviour, his playing hockey for the first time and the anger he felt in the enjoynment of playing again.

  He was quite candid in his admissions of falling back into fear and his ultimate need to throw in the towel and finally accept help. It took him 15 years to finally be able toa dmit he needed help. Drugs booze were his crutches even when involved with helping other survivors of abuse.

  I have done much over the past few years but something about today touched me deeply. I think I finally realize much more about the pain and the mindset of those who have been abused. I better understand those that may have pushed me away because they simply weren;t ready to accept help or admit they couldn't handle it alone. I better understand the complexity of the many things I will never understand.

  It was one of those days I will remember and hopefully grow as a result.

  Just wanted to share.,

  Uzzah
• 

  Will Power

  thanks for sharing this Uzzah.
  the damage that this type of abuse causes can take on many forms - suffer in silence and feel so alone - creating another personna just to get thru everyday life.
  I'm glad that public awareness is growing and there are more places for victims to reach out for help.
  
  wp
• 

  serendipity

  Hi Uzzah,

  I'm glad you gained something from the conversation. And it also confirms that even high profile people have problems they have to work to overcome.
• 

  morrisamb

  I interviewed Sheldon a few years ago for a magazine here in London. He was in the middle of a blitz of publicity. He's a walking example of the courage it takes to talk about male sexual abuse, confront your abuser and try to survive the best way you can. I wish him well. Thanks for posting your experience!
• 

  tall penguin

  Thanks Uzzah for sharing this with us. It's amazing how a single conversation can often bring us into a greater awareness of ourselves and others. I live for those moments. Truly wonderful.
  tall penguin
• 

  AndersonsInfo

  Good thread, Uzzah. This experience reminds me of what a caller said this morning to my husband about his daughter who claimed to be sexually molested by a Witness when she was a youngster. "My daughter is a liar," the man said, "and I'm not sure I can believe her story." Joe replied, "Most likely your daughter has a history of lying because she was abused. This is common behavior of victims of molestation which people don't often understand. Moreover, abuse victims can be very rebellious and promiscuous as teenagers. These are the kids who are disfellowshipped because the elders are not trained to look beneath the surface conduct to find out if child abuse is the real reason for their self-destructive behavior."
  Uzzah, as you know, Sheldon Kennedy's behavior is typical of abuse victims. Talking with those sexually abused as children caused my life to change, and it has never been the same since 1992 (an understatement if there ever was). And from your observations, I can understand why the afternoon you spent with Sheldon has caused you to become more aware of the effects of abuse, thus helping you to grasp what the full implications of child abuse are to society as a whole--rich and poor, famous and not so famous. Child abuse hurts everyone in the long run, just not the victims.
  The following e-mail, which I received just today, is an example of parents' and victims' heartbreak of abuse in the Watchtower organization especially when there is no justice. Let me quote some (edited) passages:
  "In your life story you mentioned Brother So and So. Well, I use to hang out with friends in the No Name Congregation. I was introduced to some other Witnesses there, and among them was Brother So and So's brother. Well, whenever we all went out, his mother was always going along. I asked friends why his mother was always going out with us? I was told that the congregation elders recommended that his mother always be with him because he was turned in for being a Peeping Tom. He would invite young boys over to his house, and when they would use the bathroom, he would watch them through a hole he made in the wall. The elders did nothing, except have this man accompanied by his mother to keep him on the straight and narrow.
  "Because of my work with abuse victims since my own daughter was molested, when I was a Witness, Witness victims came to me in secret and revealed to me the names of their molesters; one of them even held the Book Study in his home where I was going with my children and not one elder warned me about this pervert who had molested his own daughter.
  "Another incident made me sick to my stomach when a young sister came to me in the Kingdom Hall bathroom. She cried and said she needed someone to talk to. She related how she was labeled crazy because not one elder believed her when she told them the name of the presiding elder who molested her.
  "Some days I am okay. Other days I feel this fury come up into my heart when I know that my daughter's molester is still a Witness. He married again and has a child. The pain in me can only be described the way a parent feels when their child is missing and there is no closure."
  
• 

  LittleToe

  It hurts just reading testimonies such as those on this thread, and these aren't even a scratch on the surface of the iceberg

  For those of us, who never suffered that kind of abuse, it's hard to comprehend. We try to empathise ,and our hearts totally go out, but we will never truly understand. All we can do is offer whatever support will be accepted and ~nod~ in simple solidarity.

  This continues to remain a huge issue, and one that wont go away for the WTS (or any other organisation that doesn't live up to its responsibilities) when assuming any kind of "care" for those it allegedly supports.

  Thanks for bringing this issue back to the top of our awareness, Uzzah