I'm Confessing All! Or Maybe Not.........

by Englishman 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Do you think that confessing to misdeeds is a good thing?

    When I was a JW, I was brought up to believe that confession + genuine repentance = forgiveness. Now I’m not so sure that forgiveness is what’s always needed. I wonder, is confession nothing more than an easy way out of a tricky situation?

    Also, when a person confesses to a misdeed, are they also stopping the normal process of learning via one’s mistakes? Could this be the reason that so many JW’s are so incredibly immature and so black and white in their reasoning?

    Most persons outside of JW-dom don’t confess to mistakes, rather they seem to endure a period of discomfort after wrongdoing that eventually wears off. It’s almost as though the mind demands this in order that a lesson is learned. Once the lesson is accepted, the conscience lets up on its infliction of discomfort. I am led to believe that this discomfort is not what we could actually call guilt. A much better term would be USEFUL REMORSE.

    Remorse, to be useful, needs to be temporary and instructive. I maintain that JW’s need to run and confess all to the elders before being destroyed at Armageddon, is a childish and selfish act that is nothing more than refusing to be responsible for one’s own actions that stops one from being a complete person.

    What do you think? Is the temporary relief attained by confession worth what is actually the ultimate loss of the self?

    Englishman

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • patio34
    patio34

    Eman,

    That was a very interesting post! The
    'useful remorse' concept is very helpful. A completely different spin than the usual biblical, churchy explanation. Thanks!

    Pat

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Patio 34,

    Useful remorse is like banging your head against a wall. It's great when it stops.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • Princess
    Princess

    Very interesting E-man. Please define wrongdoing. I have found that since leaving the dubs, I am wonderfully free from guilt. Oh I have guilt over such things as not spending enough time with my kids and stuff like that, but wrongdoing? I just don't feel it.

    A few years ago I realized that I had dropped the guilt that had followed me around as a dub over the things I had done as a teenager but never confessed. I now know that I was just a normal teenager and I lovingly spared the elders from getting their jollies off my confession.

    Princess

  • D wiltshire
    D wiltshire

    Eman,

    One thing I can say about you, your definetly not dull by any means.
    If I were at a pub your the type of guy I would mind downing a pint or three with.
    I probably just sit and listen.
    You have a very interesting way of veiwing things.

    I'll defend your right to say it, but it doesn't mean I beleive it.

  • radar
    radar

    Englishman

    I suspect you are hiding something and you do not want to confess to it, do you, you naughty man!

    Listen, you can tell me and it will make you feel a lot better.

    By the way, do not Catholics also confess their sins?

    Next time you visit the Moat House, give us a ring.

    Father radar

    Radar

  • Jim Lad
    Jim Lad

    As said previously and repeatedly very good post, one that I've actually thought about as well, it seemed once the elder's decided you were alright...pooof!, everything's just dandy now! No guilt immediately.

    What's your take on "what they don't know can't hurt them"?

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Princess,

    Maybe "wrongdoing" was not a good word choice. Supposing, hypothetically, that I did something that I knew was not quite right for me. Say that I gave my barman a £10 note and he gave me change for a £20 note. I could reason that he's made plenty of money from me in the past, so it wont hurt him to lose a few quid, so I will keep the extra change for myself. Now, I have just pocketed an extra tenner, but, my friendship with the barman has now been put on a different footing because I will have conned him. Now, its ME that is the loser because I feel discomfort when I speak with him. It's this discomfort - this Useful Remorse - that makes me want to make ammends and not make the same error.

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

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