so, how is everyone this fine day! =;o) i thought i'd stop lurking for ahwile and pop in and say hey!
it's good to see all the different fews and i fondly reconize many names! so to you, and everyone, i warmly, southernly, say hello.
as i sit here thinking about what i'm gonna write, i guess the first thing that comes to my mind is where i am in the whole j.w. thing. i doubt i'll write my story, but i will say this.... i can finally see the dust begin to settle. my experience with the j.w. thing makes me feel as if i've been sucked up into a tornado and twisted a thousand different directions and has dropped me to the ground. i find that i've been wounded, but i slowly get up and i recieve the necessary help and i heal. now i'm a survivor. and that is what you are all my friends. being raised in and out of the org. it's a long story, i'll not take you through all the details. bottom line, my dad opposed and my mother and i were babtised when i was 13. at 41, i look at myself and i find a sense of surrending peace. which comes with a very warm welcome. coming from a big family in the south, my family was not of the norm. my dad, a hard nose strict, 6'4' 250pd., raging alcohol. my mother, a good woman with high morals and a backbone made of steel. with 6 big brothers, and 4 sisters, conflict from dad made it difficult for mama to get us to the kingdom hall, but she loaded all of us up in our station wagon and off we'd go! dad would go everynow and then, but it never lasted. in my personal opinion, i feel my dad was manic depressant, that needed, but never got the appropiate medication. he took his life in 1996. my mother passed away 2 years ago in aug. from breast cancer. i dissociated myself 3 years ago. i have some j.w. siblins and i speak if i see them. there was a time when it would bother me, but now, it's okay with me. i've let go of all the anger. i see where the tornado has left it's part and my part in all of it. i've past the part of wallering in my self pity and i'll make amends with those where i feel i can. i've read the c.o.c. book and i've started the *in search of christian freedom*. in one way it has been tragic, but in the other way, it has been strengthening. i know my family loves me, and i understand why mother hung on the org. with everything she had. now i just want peace in my life. i've survived and we've survived and we are living testiment to what strength is. my husband dissociated himself when i did. i don't even feel the need to read this last book. i pretty much don't think about it anymore and we see the light at the end of the funal. the air is peaceful, and all is calm, but there is will be a rebuilding that is taking place and that is a good feeling. so, i'll leave that with it's good to still be around and that life is good. a thank-god for anti-depressants! peace =;o)