I came to think of the fact that I've always been afraight to fail and this made living freely very difficult. Since I stopped going to meetings and especially since I admitted to myself that I'm no longer a 'true believer' I feel I can make mistakes and learn from them. I feel more 'alive' because of that. The need for perfection (and with perfection I mean fitting the Watchtower picture...) made me NOT do many things and in the end it - accept for making live boring and keeping me from developping myself - kind of ruined my self confidence. Partly, the way I am makes me want to be perfect, but it was certainly encouraged by (my upbringing and) being a JW. It feels so much better to be accountable for your own decisions then to listen to somebody else telling you how to live. Even if that means learning from your mistakes...
Without failing, no living / learning
by digglina 5 Replies latest jw friends
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greendawn
There is no doubt that the WTS demand on its members for high perfection is a factor that causes them a lot of inner stress and disruption especially when coupled with the fear of failing to be in god standing at armageddon that is supposedly near at hand.
Leaving such an environment can only be beneficial for the emotional world, in addition why should the org demand and receive so much while giving back to its members nothing of substance? -
digglina
Leaving such an environment can only be beneficial for the emotional world, in addition why should the org demand and receive so much while giving back to its members nothing of substance?
Well, that's another thing. It's only been more or less a year since I made my first big 'inappropriate non-approved' decision (and after that I stopped going to meetings and started my search) and my live is getting better and better. Looking at the lives (from the outside of course) of many JW's I know it seems it's all misery. But then again, these are the last days and you are supposed to suffer...
I do think that this is because people are trapped in the concept. You cannot be perfect, hence you're never good enough. Being in the 'true religion' should bring inner peace, not just a 'kingdom smile'...
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trevor
Very true - digglina
We can never grow up until we become responsible for our lives and are allowed to make mistakes. To remain a JW is to remain a child.
I hope you keep posting here.
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cyberdyne systems 101
I have to say this topic strikes a cord with me, I have certainly found being immature in making choices has had its difficulties, it feels like your going through your teens and 20's again. The great thing is that without the guilt you can make mistakes and learn from them. It also helps your self confidence to grow again as you see the rewards of experience.
CS 101
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Brigid
This isn't mine but it's good food for thought:
"there are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works"."