Things that still haunt you......

whyizit

I heard a former JW lady give a talk and she said that even after leaving the WTS and being a born-again Christian for over 15 years, sometimes when she drives through certain neighborhoods that remind her of the homes that she used to have to go door-to-door at, she gets this pain in the pit of her stomach and that she had panic attacks for many years after.

She also said that one of her JW friends periodically calls her crying and begging her to give up her life of partying and running the bars, and come back to the JWs. She tries to explain that she doesn't do those things, but her friend just can't grasp that she left and is still a moral person who loves Jehovah.

Do any of you have similar experiences? What were some of your biggest struggles?

jojochan

She tries to explain that she doesn't do those things, but her friend just can't grasp that she left and is still a moral person who loves Jehovah.

Because what they were taught is that even if one leaves the "truth"; they are immoral and loves the world. They just can't seem to let that pharaseical teaching go. This teaching is crushing to those that had the strength to leave and follow their own path in life. The cost is that their families and "friends" leave them out of "love".They in turn are not loving the ones that chose to leave, but yet in fact,are "hating" them for making up their own damn mind on what to do in their life. Then comes the hurt, the pain...the isolation, ect.

The "us verses them" viewpoint is narrowminded and prejudiced at its best.

"Worldy"...the very name itself is racist in its JW connotation of the word.

What still haunts though, is the memories...memories of how things were in their life. And how those that turned their backs to them when they were at their lowest point comes back into their life..NOT to just talk shop and say that they're happy that that person is doing well, but only to "cry and beg" to comeback, so that things can be like they were.

Conditional love....wow...

The hurt and pain? Very mental....very annoying, like someone rubbing a two forks onto a clean china plate causing the most irritating sensation which can drive a competent person to maddness.

This is the irritaiton that causes people to move away into another state...or to take their own life.

jojochan.

foundfreedom

What still haunts though, is the memories...memories of how things were in their life. And how those that turned their backs to them when they were at their lowest point comes back into their life..NOT to just talk shop and say that they're happy that that person is doing well, but only to "cry and beg" to comeback, so that things can be like they were.

What still haunts me is that here the ones in the congergation were suppose to be my friends but when I was at the meetings I could look around and see that I had no real friends even though I was spending so much time in the service and doing all I could do for lots of brothers and sisters and still my kids and I were left out of gatherings or sometimes invited but ones then wouldnt chat with me unless I went out of my way to say hello, I felt then and at meetings like a wallflower at a dance. I was the one that always had to go up to ones if I was going to be able to visit with ones. No one ever went out of their way to come and talk with my daughter and I my son didnt have that problem because is was young enough and had 2 friends close to his age. My family was never invited to anyones house for dinner even though we had ones at our home all the time. It is really sad when you have to try to explain to your kids when they are the only kids that arnt invited to a pool party and when I had to talk with the elder that was having the party and ask if my kids could attend and reluctanty they let us come! makes me sick to even think about this time in our lives, it still affects my kids and I.

They just dont show the love that they preach!! I have friends now because they arn't JW's we are always invited to gatherings and always felt welcome when we are with them, and they are so Christian and have much better morals when it comes to life than alot of JW's.

We are happy now and loving life!! I hope all ex JW's can say the same!!

Please drop me a line, I would love to meet all here on the site!

serendipity

Hi foundfreedom and welcome!

at meetings like a wallflower at a dance.

I was a wallflower too. You're not alone in noticing that love doesn't exist except on a very conditional basis.

Fleur

I was a wallflower too.

I still am. Part of why I chose the nick here I did.

What haunts me still? My old life. The cold hand on my shoulder, the shadow of the girl I used to be who was so terrified and alone.

She taps me on the arm sometimes just to be sure I stay awake and realize how fortunate I am now. It's like getting a letter from an old friend that you can't quite connect with.

The fear haunts me most.

hugs

essie

greendawn

Welcome foundfreedom, I had exactly the same experience though I was single at the time, the JW society was impenetrable.

I left long ago so nothing haunts me now but for a long time I had this idea that the JWs were the only decent people in society and the GB were appointed by God. But these were cleared up when the internet came out and I realised that in fact society would be better off without them and the GB were nothing but a bunch of power lusting crooks.

Big Tex

when I was at the meetings I could look around and see that I had no real friends even though I was spending so much time in the service and doing all I could do for lots of brothers and sisters and still my kids and I were left out of gatherings or sometimes invited but ones then wouldnt chat with me unless I went out of my way to say hello, I felt then and at meetings like a wallflower at a dance. I was the one that always had to go up to ones if I was going to be able to visit with ones. No one ever went out of their way to come and talk with my daughter and I my son didnt have that problem because is was young enough and had 2 friends close to his age. My family was never invited to anyones house for dinner even though we had ones at our home all the time. It is really sad when you have to try to explain to your kids when they are the only kids that arnt invited to a pool party and when I had to talk with the elder that was having the party and ask if my kids could attend and reluctanty they let us come!

Boy that sounds familiar. You sound very much like my wife.

She had kids over to our house dozens of times and never received a return invitation. I left in 1989, and it took her until 2002 before she finally left. Both kids hated going to the Kingdom Hall as the people there were so cold. Now neither misses it a bit, and in fact my son (who's 10 now) barely remembers it. He said once that he did miss going to the Hall because he got such good sleep there.

No, there's nothing I miss and nothing from that sect that haunts me.

Chris

Lady Lee

After several years of marriage I became an elder's wife. I was still out of the loop to some. I was the youngest of the elder's wives by about 20 years or more. We were serious minded dubs. We decided early on that we would invite a few people over for dinner and make sure that eventually work our way through the entire cong. One couple who I had know for 20 odd years had us over to their house 1 time. Once in 20 years. There were a few who became good friends until I was DFed.

As long as the WTS enforces the ban of shunning there will be heirarchies of friendships. Those considered "weak" will always be on the fringes.

Heck I was always the wallflower.

Things that still haunt you......

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