by jambon1 9 Replies latest jw friends
I really feel that if you have had any kind of responsibility in the org then you are more likely to start becoming disillusioned.
Having an appointment exposed me to all sorts of things that I simply would`nt have known about had I not been in that position.
Anyone concur?
Only if you actually hold to a set principle. I never gave up the idea that we need to follow the Bible alone. The concept of the 'organization' never got into me %100. I think the fact I still held on to this and never totally gave myself over the idea that the organization is everything protected me. The deeper I went the more I realized that what I thought was there was actually absent.
I don't think this is true for everybody. Those who totally give themselves over to 'organization' will continue to be impressed by whatever the organization thows at them. I think there are alot of people like this. The deeper they go the more convinced they become.
Yes, Jambon, I think you are right about that, and I agree with Drew: *IF* you aren't in it for the personal power trip.
If you are a sincere naive true believer, an "appointment" makes the first cracks in your cosmic egg.
As has been pointed out there are two things that happen - one you get deeper into it from an organisational point of view, or two you realise how unchristian it all is with endless man made rules.
I was fortunate enough to be so worn out by it all that I wasnt feeding myself all the propagander from their literature, only hearing some at the meetings. Even that was enough to draw me right in though. But I never got appointed because the closer I became and the older I got the more my eyes were opened to the politics of the congregation, something I didnt want to be a part of. I remember being one of a group of friends who were all servants except me, and they would talk about which job's they wanted and boast about it all to each other. It was like a popularity contest.
CS 101
I never had any responsibility in the org (cause I'm female) but I relied upon my gut feelings and my gut growled louder and louder until I walked away from it all, because I just knew something wasn't right. So I guess it's a case of either knowing more due to your position or just being more conscientious and sensible to your surroundings.
Being a female I never had what you would call priviledges like the men, but my step-dad was an elder so I grew up knowing info that other kids didn't know. I was young when my step-dad came home after one elders meeting all mad about the two thirds rule in voting. I was also somewhat aware of theslef-righteousness /hypocracy of some of the elders.
It just didn't add up when they called it a "spiritual paradise". Using the imperfect men excuse didn't fly with me either.
Moanzy
I think there are three types of people that go to the meetings.
The ones who were brought up in it who just view it as the faith they were brought up with and go out of tradition and accept what they are taught.
The ones who enjoy the power thing, who may know a lot of stuff that is skew, but could never give up their position as an outstanding member of the congregation.
The ones who are sincere whether brought up as a J dub or those who sincerely studied and became one but are plagued wth doubts about many things. Many of these are for what ever reason are still attending, and others who eventually decide enough is enough and stop attending.
I would have to say that probably, it is the case that the more you read paticularly the older publcations can have an affect on you . I always remember reading an older book. I think it was "let your Kingdom come" which went into the explanation of the king of the north and king of the south. I sincerely wanted to understand the prophecy on this. I read the book about 3/4 of the way through and thought this is pure nonsense. But put it down to Jehovah shedding new light in newer publications etc. So yes after a while , like a slow jigsaw puzzle. you start piecing many of these doubts together and remember them when you eventually come to the conclusion that there is something seriously not right here.
G'day jambon,
I suspect you may be right. When you consider that people who've become part of the 'inner circle' are full of awe that they've made it and then the reality sets in and disillusionment follows.
I must say that it was one fateful day that a 'humble publisher" made a comment that made me realise what it was that we (i.e. elders with Bethel connections) were really a part of and that we were simply playing politics. When the branch overseer said to me that he couldn't see holy spirit having anything to do with Australia branch then, well you can guess!
With disillusionment comes a big drop, an awful emptiness - it's terrible!
jambon,
i agree that knowledge leads to disillusion, no matter how you acquire it, when what you believe is true is actually a lie. think about it, if "the truth" was actually true then everything we learned would have strengthened us in our belief. when what you learn is the truth behind the lie you either become disillusioned or give yourself over to the lie. but accepting the lie for prominence and phony prestige doesn't offer very much protection, ask brother ex-bethelitespecialpioneer gotnojoblookingforahome and his dear wife Snotty.
j2s
I was born into the mess but I never did reach the place where I was inpressed and just marveled by the GB or the organization.
When the elders actually " made" me be an elder. Yeah you read it right. They told me to not accept their offer, I was committing the "sin of omitting".
One can commit a crime or they can omit or NOT DO AS YOU ARE TOLDand both are sins.
Well it only took the first visit by the co and the meeting they have with all the elders, to convince me that something is wrong. I resigned and they acted like I had DA'd myself.
Outoftheorg
