The Holy Spigot informs me fireworks are fine, just as long as you are wearing green knickers (panties to you American's) over your trousers, and have inserted a radish in the cat's bottom.
I have further revelations about the special meetings, as I can now decrypt a 144 digit encyphered transmission on a a phone line anywhere in the world by licking my finger and putting it up (where, Lord Blah of Leggies wishes me not to say).
6/ Only Sisters may be elders, and only when they're having their period, thus all the women get a chance to crack the whip organisationally.
7/ You still have to report your field service, but it now HAS to be in fields, and you have to burn the report slip so Lord Blah of Leggies gets it direct.
8/ The Governing Body are going to tour as a 'Chipendale' style strip act called 'Wrinkly but hung'.
9/ The entire songbook is being re-written by Morrisey in conjunction with Napalm Death and an old lady from Palm Bitch (a beach resort in Kansas).
10/ Smurfs are demonised after all, but it's okay, they can be your little demon buddies!! Just like the Teletubbies and Pokemons!
11/ Apostates must be confronted on the spot and told to stick their vile outpourings where the new light don't shine.
This and much more, in this week's episode of 'Terminal Work Avoidance Syndrome'.
