Joined as Adults--How has your thinking changed?

by lonelysheep 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  lonelysheep

  How has your thinking changed from growing up worldly, to joining jw's, and back to normalcy again? I began studying at 21 and stopped at 25, without getting baptized.

  I no longer seek out anything to satisfy my inner self.

  My confidence isn't up to what I feel it could have been, had I not felt dragged down by them. Guilt can work wonders on a person's emotions.

  I am leary to trust anyone until I know the real you. This means seeing more than the image a person chooses to portray. I want to know a person when they're pissed, sad, happy, etc.

  Finally, I'll never enjoy holidays the same, but do enjoy birthdays more than ever. They took the joy, well, ignorance out of thanksgiving and christmas. My feeling that it's ok to enjoy each year of birth is stronger. This is life, afterall!
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  Balsam

  Well I was 21 when I joined the JW's and stayed for 30 years. I was baptized and in a bad marriage when I became a JW and my then husband and I both became JW's.

  I felt released and free when I made up my mind and pretty much returned to all the fun things I had missed during that 30 years as a JW. No guilt, no looking back or worrying about anything.

  Shake it off, it is all nonsense. Do you still believe in some of it?

  Balsam
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  lonelysheep

  Do you still believe in some of it?

  Naw...none of it!

  I have felt guilt for not being a part of my worldly families lives since holidays were the main time we could get together.
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  juni

  I was baptized when I was 22 and was very active as a JW for 21 years. Have been out for 14.

  When you're 22 you are still learning about yourself. For all of those later formative years, I had handed my life's decisions over to this organization. Everything was planned out for you and how you would view things, etc. if you wanted to have their approval which I did as it was equated to being on God's side and living forever.

  Upon coming out, I underwent a lot of emotions that I never had to deal with before. Through counseling I learned about self-affirmations (something I never knew about). It gave me a basis to build my self-worth upon.

  I, too, still have a problem w/trusting people as I thought in my heart that I had found God's true religion. But really it was a delusion. I now find myself more tolerant w/people and looking for the good. That brings me inner peace.

  Juni
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  Khufu

  I joined the JWs at the age of 18, and twenty years later I left them when I realized the extend of the hypocrisy at the top. First of all, I find my new freedom delightful. It's not a freedom to misbehave, as the WTS insinuates apostates seek out, but freedom from cynical, lofty, sectarian, legalist and criminal intermediaries between God and me.

  One of my colleagues attends an evangelical church. She's a sincere christian, always striving to do her best. She recently got some bad news from relatives. As she felt depressed, she went to her pastor for encouragement. That fine shepherd found nothing better to say than "You're an obstacle to the pouring out of holy spirit upon yourself."

  Great! Nearly as good as our dear men in Brooklyn.

  I'm so glad to have learned how we should see all those fine directors and their churches. That's a precious lesson.
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  lonelysheep

  It's not a freedom to misbehave, as the WTS insinuates apostates seek out, but freedom from cynical, lofty, sectarian, legalist and criminal intermediaries between God and me.

  That's a great point!
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  bythesea

  I was in my early 30's when I signed up....married, with children.....and can see now that I did it mostly to get on the good side of my JW family, whom I'd been estranged from during my childhood so was eager to finally have some attention from. However, now that I am trying to fade(after 20+ yrs in the org) I can feel the REAL me still in here....and am pursueing things that interest me and don't feel that I need to answer to a group of men sitting in Brooklyn or to have their approval on things that are none of their business!

  Maybe its my age now, I don't know, but I just figured it was time to take back control over my life.