A couple from the hall I used to attend had visited me at work ( I work in a public place ) . They where some of nicest people I had met in my time involved. It was nice to see them and one of the first questions they asked is if I were OK with their heads tilted. I said just because I don't attend meetings anymore doesn't mean I'm not OK. Understandably that's what we learn as witnesses isn't it ? At first I just said I didn't feel like going anymore but still believed in god and his son. Then I felt compelled to give them something better, I have read Ray's books after all and remember him saying that people make up rumors about people who leave and I just wanted to give them a hint. I mentioned that the bible didn't say anything about counting time and how it is actually a way to judge people spiritually ( which I always believed ) and how the generation change, which took me some time to see how convenient it was that they change it just didn't jive. I stopped myself there because we all know they are programmed to run and tell and I actually in a nice way told them that. They assured me it was in confidence. I could have gone on for hours but my question is will they feel it is there obligation to run and tell about my doubts ? and if they do what can I expect ? after all I just want to fade away quietly but I want people to know the real reason. Is this possible or is being DFed inevitable ? I also told them I haven't been happier in a long time. I am not a wicked person and don't want to be viewed as one for my conversion to freedom. Free
advice
by Free 4 Replies latest jw friends
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Mysterious
They will probably feel compelled to tell a well meaning elder who will try to arrange to visit you. If possible when the elders try to arrange it you should emphasize your love for god and jesus but just how tired and overwhelmed you've been lately. Try to put off meeting with them as long as possible. If you do have to talk to them again emphasize how much you love god and want to serve him and your faith in jesus sacrifice but just that you've been feeling overwhelmed and doing the best you can for your faith.
Be very non committal if they ask you questions about considering yourself a JW still etc as they can announce it as a DA (treated now the same as a DF) if you don't watch how you word it.
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looking_glass
Free - it is a catch 22. I don't know that a person can go quietly any more because we are so connected - 6 degrees of separation is more true in the JW religion then any where else. When I run into people I know, I just say I am inactive. I do my best to never get into a discussion about religion with them because JWs believe that anything contrary to what the WTBTS teaches is apostasy.
Recently my mother pushed me in a corner and all I said to her was if Christ is the only one designated in the Bible as the judge then why do JWs get to say that they are the only ones making it in god's eyes. It is a very simply statement, but it speaks volumes.
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LovesDubs
There is no such thing as confidentiality in the JW microcosm. And them saying that they werent going to tell anyone probably means nothing because you know how it is..."We only told Brother Overseer because we LOVE you and we dont want you to fall prey to the WORLD and lose your opportunity to live in paradise!" Turning in apostates is like brownie points for JWs. They love turning on each other, they love gossip, they love making others look evil to make themselves look good. I met a lot of "nice" JWs who turned on me like rabid dogs when I started to question things out loud. I was shaken to my soul that they werent who I thought they were and how the "friends" are only a breath away from being your enemy if you dont play by the rules.
If nothing happens for awhile...it may not at all. But I would suggest if you have the desire to express your doubts and fears you do it in here where you are safe from that sort of backlash.
And if they ask you point blank if you still consider yourself one of Jehovahs Witnesses you could say, "Am I still a Christian? Yes." (since they consider themselves the ONLY Christians and the ONLY ones that can use that label...it might put them off. )
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Free
Thanks