To those I love-still asleep

by Seven 7 Replies latest social entertainment

Seven

If I listen long enough to you
I'll find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied, straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
*
Someone like you makes it hard to live without somebody else
Someone like you makes it easy to give everything about myself
*
If I gave you time to change my mind,
I'll find a way to leave the past behind
Knowing that you lied, straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
*
If I listen long enough to you
I'll find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied, straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe-Rod Stewart
Pathofthorns

I'm sorry for what you must be going through. For me, the saddest part was leaving behind the myth that I was actually loved for who I was. I don't find JW families all that they are cracked up to be, especially the so-called exemplary ones. In the end, they turn out to be the most dysfunctional.
In the end, for me, it doesn't really hurt. The love I thought was there wasn't, so what loss is it if you lose what you never had?
Ok. So maybe I just lie to myself to make myself feel better. Yeah, it hurts, but maybe not as bad as you think.
Anyway, on a lighter note, i'm going to highjack your thread with another Rod Stewart song. I like his older stuff. Cheer up and have a laugh.
HOT LEGS(Rod Stewart)Who's that knocking on my door
It's gotta be a quarter to four
Is it you again coming 'round for more
Well you can love me tonight if you want
But in the morning make sure you're gone
I'm talkin' to youHot legs, wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, are you still in school I love you honey
Gotta most persuasive tongue
You promise all kinds of fun
But what you don't understand
I'm a working man
Gonna need a shot of vitamin E
By the time you're finished with me
I'm talking to you
Hot legs, you're an alley cat
Hot legs, you scratch my back
Hot legs, bring your mother too I love you honey
Imagine how my daddy felt
in your jet black suspender belt
Seventeen years old
He's touching sixty four
You got legs right up to your neck
You're making me a physical wreck
I'm talking to you
Hot legs, in your satin shoes
Hot legs, are you still in school
Hot legs, you're making me a fool
I love you honey
Hot legs, making your mark
Hot legs, keep my pencil sharp
Hot legs, keep your hands to yourself
I love you honey
Hot legs, you're wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, you're still in school
I love you honey
You perv Rod. LOL
circare

Path. I understand a little of what you're feeling at the moment and I am sorry for your pain. Try not to be too disheartened because the reality is that your family loves you very much. Speaking from the perspective of a parent there is virtually nothing in the world that could sever the love a parent has for their child. As well as that, we have glimpsed a little of your character and personality here on the board and can see that you are a person easy to respect and love. Believe me your parents love you for who you are!
They are just suffering from a great disappointment at this time. It is hard at the moment for them too because for your family this all still new, (it has only been a few months now since you spoke to your Dad, hasn't it?) They haven't really figured out to handle it all yet. They believe that the 'truth' is of great value and will serve you well, and they're disappointed at your rejection of it. They probably feel that because these beliefs are so much a part of who they are that you are rejecting them. Also they may be dealing with a sense of failure, wondering what they have done wrong in bringing you up that has caused this 'lack of faith' and 'falling away'.
On top of that they are suppressing all their instinctive feelings and emotions because they still believe, at this time, that this is what will help you the most. It is going to take some time for them to sort out this out and put everything back into perspective.
For me personally it took my family a while to come to grips with the situation.
Pathofthorns

Thanks Circare.
I think you have many things correct. I'm not so sure about this "happy outcome" though. We'll see what happens.
I've pretty much crossed this bridge and moved on. The rest is up to them. If for some reason they wake up, or even come to some middle ground, I shall have moved so far beyond, I only likely will confirm in their minds the validity of the course they took.
You see we all point to the same scriptures and gain some sort of comfort in them. This is the danger and the sadness of this whole thing.
*** Rbi8 Matthew 10:34-38 ***
34 Do not think I came to put peace upon the earth; I came to put, not peace, but a sword. 35 For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a young wife against her mother-in-law. 36 Indeed, a man’s enemies will be persons of his own household. 37 He that has greater affection for father or mother than for me is not worthy of me; and he that has greater affection for son or daughter than for me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not accept his torture stake and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Path
AhHah

Circare,
I also appreciated your post. I am trying to salvage a relationship with my mother, who is a devout JW. Your words help me to remember what she must be thinking and feeling. I have been patiently waiting, and it seems that acceptance is settling in.
I hope that my determination to show love and affection, even when it is not completely accepted, will one day be recognized and returned by all of my family.
In the meantime, I am suffering greatly.
Edited by - AhHah on 25 October 2000 13:52:30
circare

You're absolutely right here Path, there are no guarantees for a 'happy outcome'. I am sure we have both seen enough families where things have not worked out very positively.

I hesitate to offer anything more than understanding and sympathy here Path, because you have many times demonstrated in your posts your fine thinking abilities. I don't really think I can offer anything that you could not, or have not, already worked out for yourself. However, because of the emotional involvement, we can sometimes forget or miss something that at any other time we would see obviously. It is for that reason only that I offer these suggestions.
Do not wait for your parents to make the moves. Make sure that there is middle ground for them to meet you on.
To do this you will need to be patient with them and persevere. Continue keeping in touch on a regular basis. Make it very brief each time. Do not get into any discussions about 'the truth'. If it comes up and you can't avoid it, don't tear down the organisation or their beliefs, but find positive things to say about it for their sake, if you can. Always be cheerful and 'upbeat' when in their presence if possible. Show them that your life has not 'gone down the toilet'. Let them see that in other areas of your life you are still reasonable and thinking logically.

Above all show them that you have your christian principals because that is who you are, and that you have no intentions of behaving in any less a way than a fine, upstanding son who loves his family. They need to know that you still respect them and love them, and will not ignore your normal family duties towards them regardless of their behaviour towards you.

Hope I haven't offended by stating the obvious here Path. (My kids accuse me of this all the time.)
Edited by - circare on 25 October 2000 2:2:44
circare

Hi AhHah. My condolences to your Mother, it is surely a hard time for her right now.
For you too AhHah. These particular occasions in life are emotionally exhausting anyway, I think, without the added complication of uncomfortable family relationships. You sound as though you have been doing plenty of positive things to smooth the way for your family to 'cross the bridges' when they are ready; that is about all one can do I guess.
Relationships sure complicate life don't they! Then again I don't think I would like to be on an island alone for too long either. Well perhaps alone with Har….. Whoops better delete that thought!
They say 'times heals all wounds'. Nice to have the company of those on db to help wile away some of that time isn't it?
Edited by - circare on 25 October 2000 2:5:14
Pathofthorns

Thanks Circare.
I am one who "states the obvious" too. Why should i hold that against you?
I guess all families are different. I do know that my mother probably cries herself to sleep every night. But she also lives under her own self-imposed sentence.
You see, I can talk about things other than the truth, but they cannot bear to see that because the "truth" is all there ever really was. I've only expressed questions and concerns, but i'm labelled an apostate.
I'm quite sure all in my family are under a common agreement not to speak with me. I'd only appear to be pushing a tough situation. I have to respect their wishes.
In all honesty, I feel very little loss. I'm probably more disappointed in myself for not really feeling anything. Maybe its the same JW in me that lets me not feel anything. JW family life is often only a cold, mechanical routine anyway.
You can't underestimate the hold it has on some people. I assure you under orders from the right people, some in my family would have no problem, with tears in their eyes, to cast "the first stone" at their own flesh and blood.
Path. (I do appreciate your optimism and hope though. Thank you)

To those I love-still asleep

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