and my parents have been very painfully been intruding into my life from a very JW angle lately and it doesnt help that i work with a buttload of other JWS that happen to know my parents and see them fairly regularly...nevermind that they dont bother to tell ME that they are coming into town but they tell a whole lot of JWS who i happen to work with...i happen to be in a fairly heavily jw emplyd field...language translation. Anyway...make a long story short i sat down in front of my laptop after an excruciating evening of work and this came out of my fingers....i felt like the only place it cud be understood is here....
Living in the past
Mind wallowing in self defeat
The blows of eternity smashing my mind
But never do I call the mental retreat
I live for me now
I love with no limit
My TRUE family found at last
A life cannot be imagined without it
The price was steep…
Cost so dear for this truth
Paid in blood
Paid for with my youth..
I miss you my father..
I miss you my mother..
I remain your son
I remain your brother…
Where did things change?
Where did I become so wrong?
Why is it all of a sudden…
I don’t belong?
We share the same blood..
We live the same name
I remember you still
But you don’t know me the same…
It hurts…
Hurts that I wont ever be good enough
Hurts I always have parts of you
I suppose things must always be rough
I look at my daughter now..
I see mom in her eyes
I see dad in her mind
But now grandma, pa all u have are lies..
I didn’t expect to see my mother in my girl
I give her all you cant give me
I will always give it..
No matter how she comes to me…
I love you mom and dad…
But somewhere I have to stop
I have to let you go…
The guillotine I must drop
thanx fer being here... -Z-