I was watching this new show on TLC called "The Messengers" It's a reality show to find America's next great inspirational speaker. The first episode, the participents spend 24 hours on skid row with homeless people. They then write and deliver a two minute motivational speech about the topic of charity.
While the camera showed the hopelessness of the forgotten on the streets, a sultry singer sings: "fade away, fade .... fade away, fade... life shine down on me, shine down on me... but, don't fade away..."
Although, it was just a clip of this song...and the subject was homeless people. Something pierced me in my heart. I felt a kinship with this lost, thrown away people. A man with Two master's degrees, forgotten. Another man who had lived through two hurricanes including katrina, homeless.
Some of these people were on the streets because of poor choices they had made in their lives. Others, because of poor choices that had been made for them. Still others were victims of circumstance.
I felt a kinship with these people. This community of forgotten, in-between-worlds people. People that many of the real world wish would just fade away. If we don't look at them, they do not exist.
It's a far stretch to say that I, who am blessed, know what it is like to forgotten, in-between...homeless. But, I know what it feels like to be hopeless, forgotten, invisible.
I chose to leave my religious community of my own free will. I did not know what awaited me on the outside. But, I felt...anything would be better than living a lie. I chose to fade away from being a Jehovah's Witness. To fade away from the lifestyle. To fade away from the beliefs. I chose to fade so that I could keep my family. So, that I could keep my reputation. So I would not suffer shame.
But, in choosing to fade away from my religion, I also faded away from life. I could very well be sleeping outdoors on a cardboard box under the eaves of a boarded up storefront. The passers-by not even giving me a glance. Treated by my former friends as diseased ridden, worthy of being quarantined or better yet, exterminated.
The song keeps repeating in my head..."fade away, fade .... fade away, fade... life shine down on me, shine down on me... but, don't fade away..."
Reminding me that even though life seems to have left...it is still there for the taking.
-ms. whip
If you want to hear the clip of the song...click on track 6: