worldly boyfriends

by confusedgirl20 8 Replies latest social family

  • confusedgirl20
    confusedgirl20

    Hi. I just joined this site a couple days ago. I started going to the kingdom hall at age 12. I am 20 now. I beleive a lot of what jws beleive ( i was baptized at age 15), but it breaks my heart that because i have a worldly boyfriend all my friends and family that are JWs have disowned me! I know that when jesus was on the earth he talked to everyone. It is just really dissappoints me that my family wont communicate with me......

    toodles,

    Dawn

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    Your situation reminds me of this other girl in my hall. She was a pioneer, real respected, all that jazz. Got caught with a guy about twice her age, and is now shunned. I don't know how she makes the meetings; when she sits there, she looks like she's constantly on the verge of crying. Poor thing.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    HI Dawn and welcome!

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    I got involved with a JW girl and eventually got hooked into the religion that way. Of course, I wasn't looked good upon by her folks untill I started to believe what they where telling me about the Bible.
    What you have said in regards to the pressue of loosing friend and family because of your decision to have a 'worldy' BF sheds light on bigger issues. The TRUE christian path would involve accepting people in their sins (not that i think what you are doing is a sin because it isn't, but they think it is) and to do all things in a kind and meek manner, possibly helping them see the need to change through positive action. There is none of that in your situation. Straight up, they are acting more like JWs and less like Christians. You will find out in time that being a JW is more important in the Watchtower world than being a Christian. You need to ask yourself, is a religion that teaches it's members to do this REALLY Christian?
    Welcome to the board, there are alot of differant people here, i'm sure you'll make some new friends!
    -drew

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Oh hunny, if you were baptised at 15 you know the rules. You made a decision at such a young age that will dictate every single detail of your life right down to what sexual positions are permitted in marriage.

    You realise they will make you decide them or the boyfriend, dont you?

    Id say choose him now, and find a way to serve the god you love that doesnt involve you being utterly miserable.

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Welcome Dawn. I'm glad you posted here. It's no fun to be shunned. It hurts.

    I would say that Jesus didn't just talk to those who were sinners - he loved them. His main focus was on those who are ones the Society would have us ignore and shun. Jesus was the opposite.

    I don't know your boyfriend and/or how he treats you, but if he's a good guy who treats you right and allows you to make your own decisions in life without shunning you because you disagree with him then perhaps you should stick by his side and let others make their choices too.

    As far as the truth goes, the more you study the Bible and what it really says the more surprised you'll be. Don't just read the usual scriptures that you've looked up every week for your entire JW life; read the context of those verses, check other translations, review the actual greek words and what they mean and who they apply to.

    Good luck.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    I had "worldly" boyfriends aplenty at your age. I didn't get into real trouble until I started dating a JW. I sympathize with you, as the JW prospects are pretty slim, and as I remember, a total turn off. The problem is, all boyfriends in your teens have the potential of taking away from time needed to concentrate on your future.

    You are still young, don't get into trouble, (if thats possible)! If you are babtized you will pay the piper for any behavior not considered within the society's guidelines.

    You have plenty of time for boyfriends. Concentrate on school, further education and your future so that when you are on your own you have true independence and the freedom to pick and choose as you please. Boyfriends come and go quickly at this age. The next is right around the corner.

    Just my 2 cents.

    r.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Just reviewed your post and realized you said you were 20. Sorry about that. How are you as far as independence at this point? Are you through with school? You have the right to do whats right for you.

    r.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I don't know if this will help, but the actor Saul Rubinek faced a similar dillemma when he dated a Gentile girlfriend. His parents were so distraught, they cut off all communication with him. He used a ruse, that he was writing a story of their life, to get them to open up. They started talking, first to the tape recorder, and finally, to him. His relationship with his parents were restored. And he wrote a very good book from the tapes.

    http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm=TCE&Params=A1ARTA0009859

    As you must know, you have to be very creative to get parents to soften up when they are being unreasonable. But it can be done.

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