I'm going nuts

by Undecided 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Undecided

  My wife's family is driving me crazy. Two of her nephews borrowed money from us a few weeks ago and didn't pay us back and then tried to commit suicide because of problems with their wives. They both take drugs and are not mature enough to live a normal life. I don't feel sorry for them because they chose the life they live.

  Two of my gradnkids are living with us now and are draining us dry. They just found jobs this week but are dependent on us for transportation and food etc. We are on SS and don't have money to give away. We have to use credit cards to help them. I hope we can endure it.

  Ken P.
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  crazyblondeb

  I'm sorry for what you are going thru. But it sounds like you and your wife are about the only things your grandkids having going right for them. I have been where your kids are...drugs, suicide attempts,etc. If my sisters and daughter hadn't patiently stood by me, I'd have never gotten out alive. Have faith. Your are in my prayers (and your kids). Have they talked about rehab or a twelve step program? I fought it for a long time. It has finally sunk in.

  shelley
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  james_woods

  Have you considered that it might be time to say the big NO? Nobody likes to be cruel, and it might cause some more temporary family trouble, but really!!! Isn't enough - enough?

  And don't let those druggy Nephew's guilt trip you.

  I for one will be surprised if everyone who answers does not feel compassion for all of you, but also surprised as hell if anybody tells you to continue bailing these people out...good luck -

  James
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  james_woods

  Ok, so crazyblonddeb has me surprised as hell.

  I still say to set them on their own two fee.

  James
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  bebu

  OUCH. Relatives can really take advantage of you like no one else, huh?

  Those grandkids... if they are your dependents, at least you have a tax exemption. If not, and they are not able to live with their folks, but can get jobs, I think it ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE to be paid a fair amount for living expenses. Otherwise, they will be utterly unable to manage living on their own; they will only have learned to expect everyone to underwrite them.

  If there is no unusual circumstances here, I hope you have the determination to draw the lines and enforce them.

  BTW, if you are not able to give money away without relying on it being paid back, I think it might be better to let relatives know you can't do it. Don't let their bad habits destroy what you worked for if you can help it.

  Man. It bugs me when people (even relatives) take advantage of those on fixed incomes.

  Good luck.

  bebu
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  LovesDubs

  Boy...somebody has you over the ol barrel. If you know these nephews have DRUG problems then why why why would you give them money? I got tired very quickly of people taking advantage of me and have taken to writing and having SIGNED agreements when I lend money to ANYBODY including relatives. And if they are insulted by me asking...they can go ask somebody else. In my opinion if you are looking at me like a cash cow you better be looking at me as a very CAREFUL CASH COW. Sign the paper or get out of my face and dont waste my time with your poor me sob story. Grow the hell up.

  If your nephews have screwed up their lives and are suicidal why didnt they kill themselves BEFORE borrowing money from you?? Its a scam. I betcha there is a long line of people they owe money to and that old "Im gonna kill myself" ploy doesnt work on anybody but ol Softy Uncle. Dont buy it. Ask for your money back and if you dont get it back or a signed agreement to pay it in increments, then take their sorry butts to court. It will be a life lesson.

  Where does it say that you have to support the underachievers in your family?
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  Sad emo

  Ken

  You and your wife deserve better than this treatment - relatives or not.

  I personally wouldn't give money to any drug addict. You already say you've little sympathy for your nephews, they've chosen their lifestyles, so why support them financially? Let them get on with it, please don't let them take you down with them.

  As for the grandkids - you've been kind enough to them whilst they were out of work. If they are now earning then they should be paying their way - board money towards food/heating/other bills and either sorting out their own transport or paying you petrol money as well. If they refuse to contribute then they need to leave - and learn the real value of money!

  Yes, it sounds harsh but they have to learn how to support themselves sometime - it's better if they can do it while you're still around to look out for them.