My mom is pressuring me into going to the convention this weekend. She has successfully thwarted all of my excuses and now I have to use the standby, " I have to work". My brothers are telling her that they really need to get me to go, it is real important. I don't have the courage to tell her the truth about my feelings. I am really frustrated and after a stressful weekend with my husbands family; we were caught going to a nephew's BD party, I am a nervous wreck. I hate feeling this way and I know that eventually the will force me to be blunt but right now I prefer the "ostrich method", sad I know. Anyway are there threads on the convention, notes and the Drama. My brothers is going on and on about the drama. Sometimes I actually feel like I am going to die for my "inactivity" they are so convincing, I know a lot of you know how I feel. Anyway I will be strong and suck it up,.If I am forced I will start yet another conversation that leaves my mothers upset and me shaking, sounds like fun.
Convention Woes.
by lostlantern 3 Replies latest jw friends
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BizzyBee
Lost:
We do understand and are pulling for you. What a tough spot to be in! But it is a common story around here. At some point the balance will shift and you will know what you have to do. The tipping point becomes - it is less comfortable playing hide and seek and more comfortable to come clean about your feelings.
Till then, we are here for you. (And after, too!)
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atypical
Hang in there. I went through the same thing last weekend. My mom tried everything from tears, to trying to get my wife to side against me and force me to go.
Since she kept saying she missed me and could not make it through the weekend without me, I gently pointed out that she and my dad have been too busy to hang out with me for weeks, and that I would be more than happy to schedule a weekend with just them and my wife and I as soon as they can make room.
That worked very well because she and I both know that they always have a reason they aren't able to spend time with us, and it is almost always because of some "theocratic" responsibility.
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blondie
Is it possible to go to a convention on a different weekend and/or a different locale? Can you find a plausible reason for that?
Sometimes the solution is to put a little physical distance between you and them; transfer or get a new (and perhaps better job) in another town about 100 miles away. That way it is unlikely they will be able to "check up" on you as much.
Realize that while you might want to maintain contact with your family, if they are invading your personal boundaries too much, it may be time to say that you understand their concern but you need time to think about things. Don't try to explain or justify yourself...if they love you in a healthy way they will not pressure you. Be brief and leave yourself a way to walk away with your dignity and their dignity intact.
Blondie