Cheer Me On Rah rah rah!

AuntieJane

OK, here is something you haven't read on this board. I don't get on any other boards & not here very often but thought I'd get your reactions on this event in my life. My 24 yoa married daughter (2 years married) decided to go back to school to finish her degree. The kicker is that she got a cheerleading scholarship and will be one of the top cheerleaders. The other kicker is that she will be living 6 hours away, so she and hubby will meet every few weeks as he is busy working. It broke me up when she first told me this is her dream, and he was OK with it. I tried to get her to look at closer schools but this one fits her purposes. They have no kids, I guess I am just a traditionalist but with the divorce rate growing higher and higher it concerns me. She worked on the idea for about a year, got her loans etc. and is now there at school.

She's always marched to a different drummer, creatively, than the rest of the world, and that is why we all love her. But this worries me still. I know there are more crucial situations people deal with, but it has stressed me. I've accepted her decision, as long as her husband has, but I still don't like the distance thing.

juni

Being a mom of 4 adult kids - 3 married w/kids and 1 single I feel like I qualify to answer. I can appreciate your concern as I would be too. For a couple living apart and not seeing each other for long stretches is not good. Also she will be around other young men - and then the whole college party scene. Not saying that she would participate, but it is a lure. How long will she be attending?

I guess the bottom line is - you have to let them decide as a couple now. Hopefully all will go good. Doesn't make you happy, but there's not anything you can do about it.

Best to you and your family.

Juni

Sailor Ripley

Good for her! The degree will help her family in the long run. I had some buddies that were cheerleaders. They are an extremely tight-knit group with a lot of support and camaraderie. She'll have fun!

Chin up, Captain. Let the troops know that you have faith in them. They'll do it... or they won't. What you can do best is support them both with an extremely positive outlook for the future. A little out-of-the-ordinary. So what! Sounds like she's her own girl. Tell her to keep rockin' in the free world.

Keep us posted.

...my 2 pennies.

damselfly

First~ good for her on going back to school (and that scholarship!!)
Second~ If they're determined to make it work, it'll work. Don't worry about it.

Dams

Warlock

I still don't like the distance thing

For a parent, 6 minutes away is too far, but I know what you mean.

Warlock

Scully

Ultimately it boils down to the fact that both your daughter and her husband are adults now, and whether they feel that their relationship can handle the distance or not, it's their business and their decision to make.

If you want to help, perhaps as a gift to your daughter and son-in-law, you could help them set up a free unlimited use long distance account (Vonage or something similar) so that they don't have to worry about phone bills while she's away at school. You'd be giving them the opportunity to keep in touch as much as possible without putting too much pressure on them to do so. Or if she needs a computer for school, set her up with internet access while she's away so they can chat online whenever they want. Or, offer to upgrade their cell phone plans so they can send unlimited text messages to each other.

Those would all be kind and supportive gestures, but not too intrusive into their relationship.

serendipity

HI auntiejane,

Good for your daughter for following her dreams!! All you can do is make them both aware of how hard long distance relationships are, and encourage them to communicate openly.

In addition to phone cards, perhaps give them extra cash for gas - considering the distance and cost of gas. Or if their vehicles are old, maybe provide a rental car once in awhile. Down here, Enterprise has weekend specials of 29.99 for 3 days.

AuntieJane

Thanks everyone. I know they are adults, and I have to just hope they are able to do this together. I am proud

of her for wanting this, but in some ways I am skeptical because her nature is to try something for awhile and then

lose interest. However, she LOVES cheerleading, being fit, dancing, and I think she is determined. I have 2 other

single adults, both older than she is....they are pretty traditional thinkers, this one has been my sweet unexpected

3rd child and never fails to keep things, well, interesting!

IT REALLY did me good to hear so many positive remarks; I know I need to support them both, you've helped me a lot.

Auntie Jane (who thinks life is easier being an aunt than a mom at times)

Cheer Me On Rah rah rah!

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