I've been trying for years, had the number programmed into all my phones and hit redial every chance I could. So yesterday I'm driving along, bored with the radio, when I decided to try another redial. This is a transcript of the actual call:
ring...ring...ring...ring (this went on for a long time and I was about to hang up, then).."Hello, You have reached Jehovah God. If your calling in Aramaic, press 1. If your calling in Buthanese, press 2...(this went on until it got to English, I entered 38)... I am sorry, I missed your call. I am taking some much needed quality time with Jesus. I will be out of the office from now until I get back. Please leave a message at the tone and will return your call as soon as possible....BEEEEP....Uh, yes, Jehovah this is me, but I guess you already know that. Wow, It would have been nice to talk to you but I feel priviledged to leave a message! I'll make it short. ..Well, uh, with all due respect, you need to make a personal appearance here on Earth. The misunderstanding, confusion, exploitation and downright chaos surrounding you has gotten way out of hand. If you could arrange a personal appearance tour, like the Rolling Stones or Bruce Springsteen, and make some pithy remarks, maybe pull off some mind blowing miracle stunt at each venue, whatever, I think it would help to kind of get us humans on the same page for awhile. You know it's been over 2000 years since the JC Tour. That was a huge success but I really think it needs to be done again...."
I kicked myself after I hung up... I didn't even ask for any lotto numbers.