Leaving them behind

by LtCmd.Lore 4 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LtCmd.Lore

  OK I'll attempt to make this a board that will help me but will also be interesting for others to read and post about... Here goes:

  As you may know I'm 17 and in a little under one year I intend to DA myself. There are these two kids my age, one boy 3 months older than me (The only male my age that I know) and his sister 1.7 years younger than me (The only cute girl I know.)

  I feel pretty bad about taking off and leaving them to suffer the same things I'm so desperate to get away from. The boy is not baptised so he would not be officialy shunned, I'm not sure about the girl. (They don't let girls handle mics so the only way to know is to ask her.) I really wish I could take them out with me but I don't know how to go about proposing the idea, or even if I should. He is after all my best friend and has the means to leave now if he had a reason. And she is cute, shy and innocent and can not leave without my and/or his help. For all I know one of them may already have doubts but lacks the courage or money to leave.

  So what I'm getting at is this, are there any people you were particularly close to, preferably teenagers that you left behind? Do you feel bad about it? Could you have done anything? Did you try? Any advise for me? Should I try to help before I leave, after I leave or just forget them all together?
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  RichieRich

  Dude, you are like looking in a mirror.

  Ok here's the thing. You have your plans. You have a ticking clock, and know you are gonna be set free. So you only have but so much time to get them out too.

  Drop doubts, tempt them with alternatives.

  However, remember the most effective thing you may be able to do to get them out is to leave yourself. Thats sets the example, and puts the ball in their court.

  I feel horrible about the mindless drones i left behind, but at the same time, I would feel worse if I was still in. ITs not black and white man, its all kinds of grays and even the occasional green.

  Good luck, and you can always PM me, seeing as how I've been in the exact same position.
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  AudeSapere

  You two are a little too similar. And almost exactly a year apart in age, too...!!

  LtCmd - I'm sure that many others will have some great advise for you if you 'bump to the top' tomorrow by re-posting to this thread.

  My thoughts are that you will have enough to do to get yourself in position to leave (and all that that will entail by being a young witness with 'believing' parents). Focus first on yourself - it can be a full-time job in itself. Let your friends know that your love and friendship is not conditional and any time they want to get in touch with you, they will always be warmly welcomed.

  Start making educational plans for yourself and talk to a guidance counselor at school to help you. You might also tell the counselor that you expect your parents to kick you out with no support when you turn 18 because you do not wish to follow their religion. Ask the counselor for assistance with getting yourself ready for the Big Day.

  Keep us posted here and maybe ask RichieRich for his phone number. He's got some good ideas. And this board has some amazing people who can help you stay grounded so you have a successful launch.

  We'll be watching for your future posts.

  -Aude.
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  LtCmd.Lore

  B-T-T-T

  (This is one of the things I like about asking questions of people outside of an organization... I don't get the exact same answers from every single person.)
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  JWdaughter

  I left when I was a little younger than you. I wonder what happened to all my old friends.

  Sound them out a bit without revealing yourself too much. If in a conversation you sense that anything you say will not be heard, take heed. But write them a letter, full explanation, and let them know the real reason rather than the canned talk that will be given sanctimoniously after you leave. They may or may not read it, and you might want to time it so that they will be more likely to read it(right before an announcement perhaps?).

  Keep in touch with them, even if it means just keeping tabs on what happens, where they go, so that maybe at a later time (or times) you can update them on you(let them know you didn't grow horns, etc) and let them know that you care what happens to them and are always willing to be their friend if they need you. Right now they micht be too young to appreciate that support, but if they are older and more entrenched in the org. and want to leave, it might be an important thing for them to know-that you will be there for them.

  The only old JW friends I have seen was a married couple that have known me since I was an infant and a couple of girls(one I was very close to). I wish I could know more of what happened to my old friends. The only two I know married JWs that abused them and were horrible. I hope some of the others have some happier stories, but in spite of what the WT teaches, they are as messed up or more so as any other group and are NOT the happiest people on earth.