I send you this post because I have a problem with timidity. I don't know why but, since I'm young, I have this problem. Now, I will try to see a psychologist because i want to find the reason why I have this problem. Do you know what would be the best thing to do? Did you ever have the same problem than me? Also, when my father died in 1998, I was still under the influence of the jw and i had the hope that someday I would see him in paradise but, today I realize that it wasn't true and I find it hard to deal with it.
Once again, it's me
by Nicolas 7 Replies latest jw experiences
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Introspection
Hi Nicolas. I used to be pretty timid, I'm still kind of a quiet person but I'm not frightened or fearful in any way, I'm just not pushy. It's funny, but I think seeing some of the hypocrisy among the witnesses snapped me out of it, because I knew it wasn't right. Another thing is I realized it isn't just about what I think as an individual, so in a way it's about humility, which might be a strength you have going for you. People who are self-righteous might be puffed up but I think you show your real strength when you start admitting to yourself there are uncertainties in life. Those people might seem confident, but when their thinking is based on self-delusion it is worth nothing in reality.
But as far as what you can do, I believe that while working with a mental health professional can be beneficial it is also very helpful to educate yourself. I suppose it all depends on the severity and exact nature and cause of your timidness, but maybe brief therapy would be helpful too - it doesn't necessarily mean you have any serious problems if you seek therapy. You can start by looking for a good book by a pro. Unfortunately I can't recommend anything because I never looked into that specific topic, but perhaps some on this board who work as counselors would have something in mind. You might also look on the web, search for reviews etc.
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waiting
Hey Nic,
Nice to meet you. This place has different threads which might appeal to you. There's an incredibly long thread on music "Vincent's Daughter" I believe that never gets too heavy, but a lot of posters go there to chat.
I'm glad to meet you. I too believed in the earthly Paradise, but alas, guess it was a pipedream. Too many things just don't add up correctly in the WTBTS teachings.
This is a good place to just look around and then jump in if you like.
If you find yourself on a thread which makes you uncomfortable, just click to another one. We all do that to a greater/lesser degree.waiting
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individuals wife
Hi again Nicolas
I believe my husband has met you on this board, its nice to meet you myself - good to have you here!
I was interested to see that you linked your timidity to being young -I can understand that sentiment - I have just started back at college as a mature student in a class of 17 year olds and the majority of them seem to be the timid type. I think a lot of their timidity is due to a lack of self confidence, a quality that comes with maturity and experience, it is a big world out there and when you are young there are a lot of things to have to deal with and it can be very daunting. Also the influence of the JWs, I'm sure you would agree would only add to the list of things that a youth finds hard to cope with. Maybe these arent the reasons behind your own timidity but whatever your reasons are I am certain that a psychologist will be able to help you tremendously and help you gain that self confidence that you need.
As to your other point about your father - I know exactly how you are feeling - I have gone through those exact same circumstances myself. My father died in 1995 in very tragic circumstances, totally unexpectedly, and I grieved for him tremendously, the pain I felt at his loss was immeasurable. Then shortly afterwards I became a JW, my husband had been inactive for a number of years and we went back in together. The relief I felt upon learning about the resurrection hope was incredible. Then I left for a while, I had a real crisis of faith, again the grief for my father returned once more. I returned to the cong. after some months and again felt euphoric at the hope that I would see my father again. Then later on in my story I made the final break and disassociated. Again, the grief was overwhelming. I feel cheated now that I was ever misled and it makes me quite angry to think that some people only remain as JWs so that they may see dead loved ones again. Their motive is not right.
It is a hard thing to deal with and all I can say is that it does get easier, time is indeed a great healer. I just try to focus on the good times we had together, rememembering them with fondness and just letting the thought of whether I will meet up with him again - wherever- stay at the back of my mind.
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arkangel
I am puzzled as to your thinking. Why do you believe because you left the JW religion there is no ressurrection? Do you think only JW's are ressurrected and if you are not one you don't get ressurrected? Please reply.
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Nicolas
I said it because I don't know if the bible itself is a true book. Should we believe in the theory of the evolution or should we believe in the bible. Personnally, I have difficulty to believe to all of what is said in the bible.
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Nathan Natas
Should we believe in the theory of the evolution or should we believe in the bible.
There's nothing wrong with saying, "I don't know."
Give yourself a break. You seem like a pretty nice guy who has been taught to be very hard on himself.
One way to overcome your shyness could be by posting replies to messages you read here. We have no idea who you are, and we're not going to come and get you. Maybe your worried that someone won't like something you say and will say something mean. Take my word for it, it may hurt a little (just a little), but it won't kill you.
There might be somebody out here right now who would agree with you.
How will you ever know if you don't take a chance?
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siegswife
(((I said it because I don't know if the bible itself is a true book. Should we believe in the theory of the evolution or should we believe in the bible. Personnally, I have difficulty to believe to all of what is said in the bible.)))
After I was disillusioned to the truth, I stopped reading the Bible for awhile because more things that they said were true kept popping up as being untrue when I read it.
If I could give you some advise, don't stop praying. If you don't like to call Him Jehovah (which is actually not very close to the original), pray to Jesus, asking Him to intervene on your behalf to Yahweh. Keep seeking and you WILL find. I know it's hard, but you don't have to turn your back on belief in God because of the blind guides that misled you in the past. I've found that the Bible isn't false, people who want to dictate faith to others are.
You will find your path.