[Edited: violation of Posting Guidelines]
A matter of concience
by Damien Thorn 5 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Dawn
Damien - sounds like you have more than just a few unresolved questions. But here is my two cents, and I hope it helps you sort it out.
The witnesses spend so much time on the details of rules that they never see the big picture. What does it really mean to be saved? What do you really have to do? If you ask one of them I'm sure you will get a very full list of what it takes. But not one of them will tell you what Jesus said - when Nicodemus asked Jesus how he could see the Kingdom of God, Jesus said that unless you are born again you will never see the kingdom of God. The JW's do not believe they have to be born again to see the kingdom of god. So for all their rules about music, movies, sex, clothes, all those rules (whether good or bad) - they missed the forest. They are too focused on the trees.
Unfortunately, trying to combat them with indocutrination or un-indoctrination tactics will not work - unless the person you are talking to is ready to hear what you have to say. You may be able to sow a few seeds of doubt that will help them out in the future, when they are ready, but don't expect a miracle indoctrination right now.
I know this because I was once a very indoctrinated JW. I was regularly an aux. pioneer and gave my "experiences" at the conventions. My father and brothers were all elders and I was true-to-the-bone whole 100% JW. Many people tried to open my eyes and I just believed that it was THEY who were blinded and could not see the truth.
It wasn't until I had questions of my own that I started to think about the things people in the past had said to me - some of those conversations had happened years before. Those people will never know that they sowed some seeds that eventually helped me escape - they did not get to see me break free.
Damien - the JW's will tell you that many things are a "conscience matter" - that is "legal speak" for if you're new we won't beat you up about it yet. There are no conscience matter details in the JW religion. It is all dictated to you eventually. Just ask one of them to try and explain what blood fractions they can and can not take and why (from the bible!) - that ought to give you enough proof.
Oh - and one last thought - I've read my bible over many times now and I haven't found any scriptures that say anything about oral sex! I'm married - as long as I'm faithful to my husband (which the bible is clear about) - seems to me we are free to enjoy each other in whatever fashion we choose to enjoy each other - and with God's blessing!
-
sspo
Just move on with your life and give her up.
She is already controlling you and demanding you conform
Like most witness wives they are control freaks and if they don't get what they want, they cry abuse and often take you to the elders.
They constantly play the weaker vessel card in their demands from their husbands.
You will be emotionally abused if you do not give to their demands.
Talking from experience
-
Arthur
and she is my best friends daughter.
This sounds like a significant age gap between the two of you. If that is true, (strike one).
But i don't believe everything the witnesses preach. First of all it seems to me that they listen more to the officials than to the bible itself.
This is absolutely true. If you can see this now; it will only become more apparent, and more disturbing the longer you are in the org. - and it will make you miserable if you try to go through the motions. (strike two)
I grew up in gladiator shool (I.E. Juvenile Hall and i will whip someones azz for that type of shite ) I consider that type of thing to be between a husband and wife and if one of the elders were to inquire about such a thing he would only do it once before he swallowed his teeth
If you and your wife are going to be Witnesses, you better accept the fact that if you are doing anything against what the Society says; your wife will most likely go to the elders. Physically assaulting a congregation elder will not make your relationship with your wife any better. (this should be strike 3, but I'll assume that you wouldn't really do that).
I want to know what brain washing methods the use in order to strengthen my resolve against their tactics. I was fed a plethora of pharmaceuticals in juvie and they found out i still couldn't be mind fucked. I just want some helpful advise as i am an intelligent person and not taken to letting stupidity enter my mental arena.
If you are already aware that the WTS uses very manipulative and coercive indoctrination tactics, you will only become more and more unconfortable as you are a Witness for a longer period of time. Trust me, it is a miserable life trying to go through the motions with something you don't really believe in. This will be painfully apparent to your wife; and will only strain your relationship further. (strike 3)
Given everything, you just wrote, I don't see how in the world a relationship would work between the two of you (especially if she is devout). You both would be miserable. Trust me, you may think that you can join this religion and just happily go through the motions even though you don't really believe in a lot of it. It just doesn't work this way. You will be very unhappy; and will eventually fade out in the same way that many of us on this site did. I was a JW for over 20 years, and I have seen this kind of thing happen several times. It never has a happy ending. I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but becomming a JW for a woman is a horrible plan. In the long term, it will never work.
-
AlanF
Damien, for your own good you need to quash your emotional attachment to this young girl and find someone else. I know what I'm talking about because I was married to a committed and thoroughly braindead JW woman for nearly 20 years. It was no picnic.
If you absolutely can't let go of this young woman (and I wonder about your statement that your best friend is her father -- what the fuck?) you should at least protect yourself by trying to get her out of the JWs before you make the extremely binding legal committment to be married to her. Remember that in American courts, the female gets 90% of the consideration. I know; I been.
AlanF
-
ozziepost
Damien:
Imbedding links and using swear words are both against Posting Guidelines. Should you post again, please comply with read Posting Guidelines before hitting the "Submit Post" key.